Thomas glared daggers at Madeline, and she had the decency to drop her gaze to the floor.
“So I pull up to your little house and what do I see? Nothing less than a bright-haired fuckingchildbeing verbally berated by none other than you, darling brother.” Gabriel spat the words in Thomas’s face. “And do you know what else I saw, Thomas? I saw you, so much like our father, and I saw Joel and,” he stopped, swaying as tears began to slide down his cheeks once more, “Fuck, he was perfect. Heisperfect. He is deserving of so much more thananyof us.” Gabriel took a swallow from the bottle. “And I decided then to keep him safe, to make sure he was safe fromyou, Jesus, from both of you. And I did it because someone needed to, and then I realized I loved him. I fucking love him. So yes, Thomas, I’ve been fucking him. I’ve been fucking the man I love.” Gabriel's voice tapered off. It was the first time he had said the words out loud, and they weren’t even directed toward Joel.
The silence stretched between the three of them, heavy with Gabriel's confession.
“And it’s done now.” His voice was soft, even more slurred than before. “So can you go, please? I’ll give you everything I own if you’ll please get the fuck out of my life and never come back.” With a clatter, Gabriel set the whiskey bottle down on his coffee table and stumbled to the front door, pulling it open and dramatically waving his arm out into the hallway, gesturing for Thomas and Madeline to leave.
After entirely too long, they both stood and walked out the door, Madeline first, and as Thomas passed by, Gabriel grabbed him by the collar and shouldered him against the door frame. Thomas grunted in pain, the door latch digging into his spine.
“And, Thomas, don’t you ever fucking speak to Joel again. You leave him be. I don't even know what the two of you are doing here, but I swear to fucking God, you don't know the lengths I’ve gone to during the past three years to keep watch on him, but they're extreme, brother, and I promise you now, if I find out you even drove down the same street as him, I will fucking end you and your wife.” Gabriel shoved him harder into the door before releasing his shirt and stepping back.
Thomas shook his shoulders and straightened his shirt, staring up at Gabriel with utter contempt. Gabriel flexed his hands into fists and leaned toward his brother with an eyebrow raised in challenge.
“It's money, Gabriel. It’s always money. The trust Mark left for Joel is about to mature and I think that him signing it over to us is the least we deserve.” Madeline spoke with no regret in her voice.
“Give me the fucking paperwork. He may not be speaking to me, but I know how to get it to him. But you're out of your mind if you think you’re owed a penny of what his father left him.” Gabriel held out a shaking hand and Madeline shoved a manila envelope into it.
Thomas stepped back and followed Madeline down the hallway after she turned to stomp away. Gabriel's weight was suddenly far too heavy for his bones and he collapsed, sliding down the door, half inside and half out in the hallway.
Gabriel stared at his hands, the tops and the palms, the length of his fingers and his cuticles. If he closed his eyes, he could still see the way they looked dancing across Joel's skin, grabbing his thighs and spreading him open. He ran a finger across the nails of his other hand, remembering how soft Joel's hair had felt beneath his fingertips as they lay together, covered in each other's sweat.
Twice. That was all Gabriel had been allowed. Twice, he had been able to sink inside Joel's tight, warm heat and Gabriel hoped it would be enough to hold him over for the rest of his days. Because in this moment and for the rest of his life, there was no one else he would ever love the same as he loved Joel. He pressed into his eyes with the tips of his fingers, sucking in a wobbling breath as he hoisted himself from off the floor. Moving into the condo and closing the door behind him, he stumbled to his office and turned on his computer.
He immediately pulled up the tracking functions on Joel's phone, needing to know where he was, needing to know he was safe. The map zeroed in to Beverly Hills. Joel had left his phone behind.
Fuck.
He checked the security feeds on Joel's apartment, and found it was still very much under construction. He was blind, and for the first time in over a year, he had no idea where Joel was.
He’s with Athena, you fucking fool.
Of course he was with Athena. For a moment, Gabriel hated that Joel was gay, not bi, because the only person who could ever come close to caring for him enough was Athena, and if it couldn’t be Gabriel, at least it could be her.
It would be her.
Athena was his best friend. Things like romantic love and sex would never get in their way. Athena was lucky, she would never know the pain of losing Joel like this.
Gabriel stared at the blinking GPS indicator on his screen and then he picked up the laptop and threw it across the room. It slammed into the security monitor on the wall in a symphony of shattering glass and metal. Gabriel braced himself on the desk, body heaving and breaths catching in his throat. He dropped his head and watched as tears splattered against the naked wood of his desk.
A life without Joel was something he didn’t want to imagine. But deep down in his heart, he understood he couldn’t go after him. His kind of love had been painful enough for Joel. His love had done enough damage.
Back in his living room, he finished off the bottle of whiskey, picking up the two volumes ofLes Misérablesand dropping himself down on the floor, his back against the couch. He reached blindly for his phone and dialed up a courier service.
“Hello, this is Gabriel Hunter. I have a package I need couriered to a Mr. Joel Reading, care of Ms. Athena Smith, please. Yes, I’ll hold, thank you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Joel Eats His Weight in Bacon
Joel rolled over and buried his face in the pillow, expecting to wake up with the smell of Gabriel in his nose. After a deep inhale, what he got was hints of bergamot and orange, and he remembered he was at Athena’s, not at home.
Home.
Had he started to think of Gabriel's as home after such a short amount of time? Yes, he was afraid he had.
Gabriel.
Joel rolled onto his back, taking the pillow with him in a halfhearted attempt to smother himself. Squeezing his eyes closed, he brought his fingers up to softly rub his swollen eyelids. His lashes were still damp; he must have been crying throughout the night. It wasn’t fair, Joel thought. It was a childish thought, but everything good he’d ever had for himself had been ruined at some point, and rarely hadhebeen the one to ruin it. Joel had built his walls for a reason, so afraid to be hurt again that he never gave anyone the chance. Then Gabriel came into his life like a natural disaster ready to destroy everything he touched. And Joel couldn’t fault Gabriel for that, he could tell it was just the way Gabriel was. His destruction wasn’t malicious and it wasn’t even intentional, but Joel was here now, in the wake of hurricane Gabriel, and there was no disaster relief in sight.
