They’re in the tent a few rows down from me and one of them has been giggling for what seems like three hours straight. I’ve had to put my headphones on to block it out, because I want to get in the zone for my performance. Two and a half years ago, I’d be straight in there and joining them, my set suffering as a result.
My cell beeps with a message.
Dave: Good luck, mate. Break a leg. Actually, don’t break a leg. I almost did that yesterday trying to do a yoga position. Still on the mineral water, you’ll be glad to know.
I send him a thumbs up emoji. It turns out that Dave’s heart arrhythmia was the wake-up call he needed to go sober. He’s been at a detox place for months, extolling the virtues of green smoothies and has started writing his autobiography. He says he’s going to get out of the music business and into property instead, but I’ll believe that when I see it.
I’m my own manager now. It’s a hell of a lot more work, but I like choosing my own schedule and giving all those party gigs a miss. I don’t miss being pimped out to groups of coked-up producers or bored celebrities. Looking back, I could probably have turned up and played the same track on repeat over and over again, and nobody would have noticed. I probably did just that a few times, when I was drugged out of my brain.
Tonight’s an extra special night, for a number of reasons.
First, because it’s a charity event to help raise money for people fighting addiction. A friend of mine from rehab set it up and a lot of Hollywood bigwigs have donated huge sums of money for VIP passes to the festival. The lineup is full of famous names and there’s a lot of hype since it’s my first big gig since I got clean.
No pressure.
Second, and most importantly, it’s because Billie’s flown out here to the desert. Not just to hear me play, because she’s got her own job documenting the festival. She’s been doing Instagram Live, which I’ve shamelessly snooped on, sending her emojis and PMing her to tell her how sexy she is.
I ended up renting a place in Snowflake Falls and writing more music. I’m releasing an album later in the year, with a tour booked to promote it, touring the US and Europe, then South America. Except this tour is going to be different to any I’ve done in the past, because Billie will be right there by my side for the whole thing.
One of the assistants pokes her head through the tent flaps. She’s wearing a purple wig, a hat covered in sequins and a huge furry coat that gets stuck on the heavy canvas material of the tent. She picks it off, sighs, and then smiles at me.
“You’ve got fifteen minutes, okay, Raff?” She gives me the thumbs up sign and disappears.
My heart starts to pound, almost in time with the music. Where’s Billie? I’m not going onstage until she’s back. If the organizer thought I was low-maintenance, he’s not going to be prepared for me delaying my set until my girlfriend gets back. I need her here. She’s more than my girlfriend, she’s my lucky charm. The person I can’t wait to see if I’ve been out all day. The one I want to make smile, first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
A memory stands out, replaying in my head like a movie, but with the colors and sound intensified. We’re dancing in my house in Snowflake Falls in time to a track I’ve written, where the beat gets faster and faster, building to a crescendo. Her hair is whirling around her head and she’s totally abandoned herself to the music. My arms are around her. Then the next moment we’re tearing each other’s clothes off. We didn’t make it to the bedroom as I sucked those luscious tits and then thrust into her, bending her over the sofa until we both came in a glorious rush.
That’s better than any drink or drugs. Sex with the woman you’re totally crazy about.
I check my cell. Ten minutes to go.
I text her.
Raff: Hey babe, are you close? I’m on in ten.
She texts back almost instantly.
Billie: Two minutes away. I have news!
I smile and put my cell down, checking my reflection in the mirror. A local designer in Snowflake Falls has made my stage outfit, which is designed to reflect the lights and has a soft silver sheen.
I turn around as Billie enters and hold out my arms.
“I missed you!” I squeeze her tight, kissing those soft lips and pressing her body into mine. As always, just having her near me and I’m hard, ready to go.
“Can we risk it? Do you think the organizer would be standing there tapping his watch and waiting for us to finish?”
She laughs. “We’re out of time, Raff. But we can celebrate afterwards…”
I reluctantly pull away. “So, what’s the good news?”
“The news site I’m reporting for wants me to cover your tour. They’ve been impressed with my live blogs and my photographs. So they’re giving me my own section. I can’t believe it’s happening!” Her voice squeaks at the end.
“That’s wonderful news! You’re so talented, Billie. You deserve this and–”
The organizer sticks his head through the tent flaps. “Hope I’m not disturbing anything, folks, but we need to get you prepped and ready. As you know, it’s a trek to get to the stage so we can’t be laid-back about timings.”
Billie nods. “He’s ready, aren’t you, Raff?”
