I raise an eyebrow.
“Honey, I was there,” I sigh. “I know it gets—”
“I’ve visited your family plenty of times with you,” Nicolas says, frowning. “Your nephews and nieces are all very well-behaved. No one speaks excessively loudly either. I think the chaos was, or is, more of a… space issue.”
I frown, fully confused.
“What do you mean?”
“Your parents’ house,” he says. “The layout isn’t optimal for a large family during the holidays. The kitchen is narrow, your mother has to shout over her appliances, the adults are talking loudly so they can be heard in the living room, and the space allocated to the children is limited too. Since your family also enjoys playing Christmas music, and all the windows have to stay closed, it rightfully gets incredibly loud for everyone.”
I take a minute to think about it, and now that he mentions it…
Our family home is cozy and lovely, but it was already full when there were just the five of us kids! Now, with the partners and all the children, it certainly does get a little more cramped every year… And when we visited Portland last summer for our big family barbecue, things were slightly different: we were all outdoors enjoying the garden, and the kids had space to roam… We weren’t all confined to a single room! Maybe that’s why I didn’t realize sooner that our Christmas configuration would be an issue for Nicolas?
“I… I hadn’t realized that,” I admit.
“I really do enjoy spending time with your family, sweetheart,” he says, his thumb gently rubbing my hand, “butI think your parents’ house isn’t a good fit to host everyone indoors.”
“They’re our parents,” I shrug. “I mean, I absolutely believe you’re right, it’s just… They’vealwayshosted Christmas.”
“I know,” he nods patiently. “It seems natural you’d all gather at your parents’ house by default, especially since your siblings are all… scattered, and your sisters-in-law’s families aren’t invested in Christmas. But I just think it might be one of those things that is incompatible with our Christmas.”
OurChristmas?
I swallow, fighting another bout of tears. Nicolas really is serious about us, isn’t he? He really wants to make things work… and thank goodness for the kitties and the hot cocoa and the Christmas jazz music keeping things light and merry around us, because I’m this close to being a weepy mess! And again, I am so, so grateful for how level-headed, kind, and understanding he is… but I want to make sure I reciprocate this time.
“…What about you?” I ask, sniffling. “What is your ideal Christmas like, Nicolas?”
“With you,” he simply says without thinking about it twice. “Like I told you, Christmas was never a big deal in my family; our dad was often too busy. We did get spoiled plenty, but it wasn’t as important as other celebrations like birthdays. …But ever since you and I met, I’ve been looking forward to Christmas a lot more. You get so happy and excited about the holidays, it’s contagious. I love seeing you happy, and, despite everything, this monthhasbeen very exciting. I want to make Christmas special with you, Ophelia.”
“That’s… Nicolas, that’s very sweet, but are you sure that’s all?” I blink. “I’m really happy you think of things that way, but… but we should really put everything we want on the table. Is there nothing else…?”
“Yes,” he nods. “…Well, if there’s one thing, it would be to make sure my mother isn’t alone. I know she can be upsetting, but since Dad passed away, I think she’s lonely. And I believe Antoine and I both don’t want to leave her alone, though Emi and you are our respective priorities, of course.”
“That’s… That can’t be it,” I frown. “We should make sure we… Wait a second!”
I transfer Muffin to Nicolas’s lap, get up, and rush to my bedroom to find what I need: my spare notebook and a pen. Then I return to my spot on the couch, open a blank page, and, right there at the top, title it ‘Our Ideal Christmas’.
“Let’s do this the right way,” I declare, putting on my secretary hat. “Let’s not be vague, but list everything we want. I’ll write mine first, but you need to find more, honey… We should put what wedon’twant, as well. Like marathon-traveling, missing baking sessions, or luggage mishaps. I’ll add no overly crowded or loud spaces either for you!”
“I see,” he frowns. “That’s a great strategy. Let me see… I would like our cats to be present too. I’m sure they enjoyed the pet hotel, but they’re our family.”
“I agree,” I nod, immediately penning it. “No more leaving our kitties behind. They deserve lots of love all year round, and their own Christmas treats!
“…And we shouldn’t rely on public transportation,” Nicolas continues. “Those flight issues were extremely troublesome, and they’re hard to anticipate.”
“I agree,” I sigh, jotting it down straight away. “No more Christmas Eve traveling! I love Quebec City, but I think going so late was a mistake. I know this year was unique and our first try, but I wouldn’t do it again. And I missed the Christmas Market, which I really wanted to do…”
“We should go next year,” Nicolas nods, “but early, this time. Before Christmas, before everything gets too crowded andunpredictable. You said you wanted to enjoy the Christmas spirit all year long; we could simply make a short trip there, or a weekend stay. No more staying and leaving overnight.”
“But what about your mom?” I frown.
“She could be the one to fly over,” he says after a few seconds of thinking. “Mamanlikes staying at hotels and hates to host. I believe she might be easier to handle as a guest. Antoine could fly or see her later. I love my brother, but I think we’re happier spending Christmas with our partners than together; we’ve seen each other enough in our lifetimes already. We could take turns havingMamanfor Christmas as well, making it easier on Emi and you.”
I chuckle, but I keep taking notes. This is finally starting to look like we’re making progress toward a real solution!
“Alright, but it doesn’t solve the crowd at my parents’ house,” I admit.
