He pats my leg, and I cover his hand with mine, but I can’t help the little wave of sadness that overwhelms me.
I knew chances were high I’d miss my nieces and nephews opening their presents, but there is so much of the Christmas magic in that moment. My siblings and I are all too old to be fascinated anymore, but most of my brothers’ kids are at that perfect age for the holidays: old enough to understand what’s happening yet young enough to believe the magic is real. The others are too young yet to expect Santa, but they still love all the animation around them and getting new toys. So, yeah, I’m a bit sad that I’m not there for it. At least, not yet. I know Nicolas is trying to be considerate because he’s very focused on his driving and patting my leg when he can.
Let it snow, Ophie.
I follow Emi’s advice and force myself to take a deep breath. I’ve seen Nicolas do that exercise enough that I can follow the steps easily and discreetly. Focused on the road ahead, forcing a smile on my lips to trick my mind into an extra dopamine boost, I take a deep breath in for four seconds, hold it in for four more, and then exhale for four more seconds.
Let it snow.
It’s a bit like the first snowfall: I might have missed the moment, but I will still get to enjoy the aftermath, and hope that there’s more to come. And once it’s over, there’s nothing else to be done, anyway. So, I’ll let it snow.
Thankfully, Nicolas said the truth: we’re almost there.
Not even half an hour later, we exit the highway, and I recognize the streets of Portland. Like any coastal city in New England, it’s all old red brick buildings, cobbled streets, and salted winds. And right now, my hometown is wrapped under a blanket of white snow, with plenty of Christmas lights leading the way! I start smiling, this time naturally, as I recognize thestreets I pretty much grew up in. Nicolas even drives by the little Hansel Gourmet shop where I had my very first job as a sales assistant! That was a few years back now, but I loved that little shop so much… and I fell in love with Nicolas’s company and its products long before I met him, but I wouldn’t have ever dreamt of being romantically involved with its CEO! Now that I think about it, it’s a bit like I married my first love?
“Almost there,” Nicolas smiles at me.
I nod. I glance around, taking note of all the little changes in my parents’ neighborhood. It’s so strange that I don’t know all the neighbors anymore, nor recognize all the shops! But my life has been in Boston for a while, and when I think of “home,” I think of my cozy little apartment in Boston, not my parents’ colonial two-story house.
Itisan amazingly unique feeling to be back, though. There’s something so nostalgic about finally spotting the house I grew up in, so familiar and yet a bit more foreign every year, with the wooden reindeer family in the garden, the Christmas lights up, and that huge wreath on the door greeting us. Nicolas pulls up in front of the house, and just seconds later, my feet have barely hit the sidewalk when the door flies open.
“Auntie Ophie!”
My oldest niece barrels toward me with a big grin, the others on her tail.
“Merry Christmas!” I half-shout, half-laugh at our little clan.
Sakina jumps on me first, but soon enough, Kenny, Maisie, and Lilah pile after her, and I collapse in the snow with them in a fit of giggles. Jamie, who is three years old and not quite fast enough yet, arrives last with a big grin to hug my face.
“Auntie Ophie, we missed you!”
“So, so much!”
“Santa came! Santa came and we got so many presents!”
“I got a car!”
“Auntie Ophie, can we play Exploding Kittens?”
“No, my game first!”
“Mario Kart!”
“Alright, kids!” Parveen shouts from the house. “Let your auntie breathe! …And Lilah, I said no slippers in the snow!! You’ll get sick, baby!”
I somehow manage to get up, with nearly all of the half-dozen of my siblings’ kids covering me! The youngest and only one missing on the pile is baby Ash, who is perched on his mother’s hip and eyeing us curiously.
“Auntie, I got the friendship bracelet maker I wanted!”
“And I got the new toy car!”
“Can you play Ticket to Ride with us?”
“Mario Kart!”
“No, Uno first!”
“Mommy said no more Uno, Kenny!”
