“That is how this man makes you feel?”
Cece’s question was full of calm knowing, and a gentle smile curled her lips.
“Yes,” Jess answered with a sigh. “He makes me feel like a fledgling.”
“You’re both on the verge of claiming the lives you want. Just like Arie and Fran,” Vin said with a wistful grin.
“What will you do next?”
Jess didn’t know how to answer Cece’s question, because she didn’t know what awaited her. Not tomorrow, not even in the next hour. There was a tumult inside her every time she thought of him. “I don’t know. I only know that when I’m near him it feels like there are dragonflies in my stomach and in my heart, and it’s like taking joy in my hands and shaping it and not caring what the consequences of stealing that joy from the world will feel like.”
Now it was Cece and Vin who reached for her hands, and Jess took them in her own, drawing strength from their support and the understanding and love she saw in their expressions.
“We’ll stand by you, no matter what,” Vin reassured her with a squeeze. “Because we want you to feel those things. You deserve them.”
Jess’s eyes filled with tears again as she squeezed back. “I don’t know what he wants. If he wants anything more than what we’ve shared.”
Vin patted her hand. “We all noticed the way he looks at you. Like he’ll die if he looks away. Like you’re the brightest, mostprecious thing he’s ever seen. I think he wants more - even if he’s too scared to admit it.”
“Men are like that, you know,” Cece said. “Too wrapped up in their fear and longing to tell us how they feel. Until the world gives them no choice and they have to stand tall and be vulnerable.”
Jess looked down at her lap. “Do you think he’s capable of that? Being vulnerable with me?”
“Yes,” Vin said decidedly. “I think he’s already there. Have you spoken of what will happen when the wager ends?”
“Not directly, no. But I want more of him every time I see him. Not just his touch and his kisses, but his hidden pain and sadness as well. I want to wrap my arms around him and shelter the boy he was and the terrible things he’s borne witness to.”
“You’re falling in love,” Cece said with another gentle smile. It was full of compassion and made Jess’s heart hurt anew.
“And I think he’s falling in love with you as well,” Vin observed. “Take it, Little Sister. Cling to it with both hands and don’t let it slip away.”
There was something in Vin’s eyes Jess had never seen. Something she usually hid behind her mask of bravado.
“I will,” Jess said with determination. “I will,” she repeated.
Chapter Twenty
Thenextmorning,Cadocdidn’t want to rouse from dreams of her. She’d haunted him all night, and letting go of the promise of holding her through the velvet darkness of all the nights of his life felt like letting go of something he didn’t think he had a right to hold or pin down.
Only the strong bitter taste of coffee against his tongue and the knowledge his sister and niece and nephew were returning that day, moved him to rise.
When the children wrapped their arms around his waist, he cherished the clasp of their hands at his sides.
Caris watched him with soft eyes. “What has changed, brother? You are not the same as you were when we left.”
He shook his head, silently telling her he’d share his turmoil later. Over whisky before the fireplace in the library. She nodded in response, and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “It gladdens my heart to see you emerge from the shadows, Cadoc,” she whispered.
He stepped back, so she wouldn’t see how her words filled him with fragile hope.
“Shall we go to the evening service tonight?”
Caris watched him closely. “The evening service?”
“The vicar and his sister have been ill, and there was no service last week. He’s scheduled a sermon today and I’d like to go with you and the children.”
Her eyes filled with wonder. “She’s the one changing you. Yes, we’ll accompany you - I want to see the changes she’s wrought for myself.”
Cadoc ducked his head and ignored her joyful smile. His dragonfly, because he couldn’t stomach the thought of her belonging to anyone but him, had changed him. And he didn’t know the depth of the change or who he would become without her by his side. He wanted to lose himself in her. Not just her touch and the way she felt pressed against him, but the way sunset caught the hazel gleam of her eyes and the way she held herself still when she was trying to hold onto her dignity. Not just the gasp of surrender she’d made, sweet and low when she’d found her release against his mouth, but the animation and intelligence written all over her face when she spoke of teaching and her infernal bugs.
