I take a few sips and then ask her, “How many more clients do I have today?”
“Three.” She rubs my back. It’s comforting.
“Can anyone else take them?”
“Let me see.” She pulls out her phone and clicks a few times. “Yes, we can spread them around. I’ll take care of everything. Why don’t you head home?”
I inhale deeply, struggling to keep the tears from spilling free again. Everything about this situation is a tangled mess ofconfusion. I murmur, “Thank you,” but even as I say it, I'm unsure if I mean it. “Text me if you need anything.”
“Kendall, I’ve been handling your salon since the beginning; you don’t have to worry about anything.” She leans down and hugs me.
I feel frozen in place, but I need to leave right now. I stand up, pick up my bag and keys, and walk out the door. “I’ll let you know what’s going on.”
In a daze, I drag my feet out to my car and drive home. I don’t even remember getting here. After parking the car in the garage, I step inside. The house is quiet. Too quiet. Leaving me with all of my rogue thoughts. Alone. Confused. Overwhelmed.
I drop my bag by the door and kick off my shoes, but I don’t remember doing it. My body moves on autopilot. My chest is tight, like someone tied a cord around my lungs and yanked it.
I make it to my bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed. The tears flood my eyes, threatening to escape at any moment. Then, my body falls sideways onto my bed, and I curl up in the fetal position, hugging my pillow so tightly my arms shake. One breath. Then another. Then a sob punches through me uncontrollably.
You’ll wake up a year from now—exhausted, resentful, wondering why you ever thought this could work.
I squeeze my eyes shut, reeling into the darkness.
How did he know about Jake? About any of it? Did Dane tell him everything? I’m so confused and angry.
I hug my pillow tighter, and I want to believe it’s a lie. I want to believehe doesn’t know Dane at all…
But what if he’s right?
I cry harder. Ugly crying. My pillow taking the brunt of my breakdown.
I should be stronger than this.
The last few weeks have taken a toll on me, and I just can’t take it anymore. My resilience is nonexistent, and I’m left wondering why it abandoned me.
I reach for my phone and text the girls' group text.
Kendall:
Are any of you free? I need a voice that’s not mine in my head right now.
And then I toss it onto my bed. I can’t. I curl my knees up tighter. My body hurts. My heart hurts. And the worst part is, I think I love him. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time, especially with Dane making decisions for me and the whole thing about Jake.
My phone dings, which knocks me out of the path of spiraling. I reluctantly pick it up.
Lane:
What’s going on? Where are you?
Kendall:
Home
Faith:
Home? Be there in 15 minutes
Lane:
