“Say it!”
“Something with animals!” I blurt out. A satisfied grin stretches across Reid’s face and he waits patiently for more. “I guess I’d like to do something with animals. Maybe workfor a non-profit, or manage fosters.” If there’s one bright light for me at the end of every day and the beginning of each morning, it’s Macaroni.
We hit the ball back and forth for what must be close to an hour, judging by the quickening descent of the sun.
“Okay, last one, then let’s have some food. Sound good?”
I brush my hands against the rough material of my shorts. “Sounds good. I’m starving. Hopefully you packed some good stuff.”
“Like I’d deliver anything but the best.” He pops the ball over to me and I bump it back.
We go back and forth a few times but when my return falls slightly short, Reid isn’t quick enough to bend forward and grab it. It falls to the sand and I raise my arms triumphantly.
“I win!”
“There’s no winners,” he grumbles.
“Well there certainly is a loser,” I tease. “Okay, final question, but more so a challenge for you.”
He adjusts his glasses after bending over to grab the volleyball. Tucking it into his side, he waits expectantly.
I gather up a lungful of air to press out the question before I can second guess it and overthink his potential reaction. “Besides pure stubbornness, what’s stopping you from reaching out to Walker? Or to Hayden?”
He stiffens, spine going ramrod straight, but he doesn’t interrupt me. I take that as a greenlight to keep going.
“Is it because you truly don’t want to resolve it and want to be through with the friendship now that you don’t have the band tying you to them? Is it because you’re scared they’ll reject you? Is it because you don’t know how to try to make amends? What is it?”
“I don’t know?—”
“You do.”
His fists clench and every muscle in his body coils tight. “Maybe it’s all of the fucking above, okay? Maybe I just don’t want to. Maybe I don’t know how. Maybe I’m too scared to dial their fucking numbers and find out that they have me blocked.”
My chest clenches at the rawness of his voice. “You’ll never know unless you try.”
He stares out toward the ocean, jaw razor sharp beneath the stubble.
“Will you think about reaching out to one of them?” I prod.
“Why do you care?”
“Because I care about you.” The admission doesn’t feel as scary as it should. “And clearly, you’re harboring all that negativity inside. How do you ever expect to make any progress in your life if that’s constantly holding you back in the past?”
His jaw ticks. “And have you let go of all the negativity in your past?”
My own walls begin to rise. “That’s different. And I’m sure you haven’t let all that shit go either. God, I bet if they cut you open, you’d just spill out toxic sludge from all the shit you’re hanging onto from the past.”
I expect him to fight, to get angry, to maybe even storm off. But what I don’t expect is the loud bark of laughter he lets out and the reluctant curl of his lip. “You’re probably right, Penny. You’re probably fucking right.”
He walks over toward the blanket and I stand there for a moment too stunned to follow. When he realizes I’m not following him, he glances over his shoulder at me. “You coming?”
“I’m just waiting for you to fight with me.”
He turns and strolls backward. It has no reason being as hot as it is. “I’d love to, but I’m trying here.”
Yes, he certainly is.
I join him on the blanket and we both sit facing the ocean, so close our shoulders brush. The waves are a calm, steady rhythm to listen to while he lays out the snacks. It’s a mix of pre-packaged charcuterie items like meats and cheeses, a container of mixed nuts, and a small fruit tray.
