Red stains Hayden’s cheeks. “Yeah. I’ve been listening to a lot of metal lately. Some of my favorite bands have been blending really beautiful melodies with screaming verses and I think…I don’t know. The song gives me that same kind of energy.”
Nikolai looks sheepish as he tells him, “I don’t know if I’m capable of that man.”
Hayden immediately waves a hand in front of him. “I know. Forget it. It’s not our vibe anyways.”
“It can be,” I say. Everyone’s heads swing in my direction. Hayden’s mouth hangs open slightly in shock. “Who says it can’t be our vibe? You wanna scream? Then do it.”
Hayden wrings his hands. “But switching up genres you always said could alienate too many of our fans.”
“I think we did a good enough job of that when we quit. If you wanna scream, then let’s fucking do it. We have nothing to lose. The ones who were meant to stay will.” My words settle over each of my brothers. The double meaning isn’t lost on a single one of us. Hayden blinks once, then slowly nods, a small smile brimming. “Okay then. What do you two think?”
Nikolai winks at him. “I know my limits, but I’m more than happy to let you take the lead on that if it’s what you want.”
Attention shifts to Walker, who taps his fingers against his leg in a rhythm only he can hear. “I’m cool with trying it. I’ve heard some similar stuff lately, too. It’s pretty sick. And it’s not like that’s the entire direction we have to go. But I think there’s no harm in trying. Like Reid said, we don’t really have anything to lose at this point.”
Hayden swallows thickly. “Well then, uh, I’d like to try it. Can you pass me the notebook? I have a verse idea I think would play well.”
We spitball for another hour, refining the lyrics and figuring out how to incorporate this new element. Walker creates a rough track on the computer to build off of.
It’s just like old times, and yet, it feels so vastly different. We’ve all evolved so much individually, and as our personal dynamics with each other shifted, so did our creative relationships. There’s still that familiar spark, that cauldron of energy we equally dump into and pull from, but it’s slightly more mature.
We may not have a clear path forward, especially without an end goal like an album like we’ve always had before. But our perspectives are sharper, our experiences richer.
By the time we have a full set of lyrics, a pretty well established bass line, and Walker figuring out the driving beat behind it all, my back is aching from sitting hunched over the coffee table for so long.
“Does anyone have any idea what time it is?” I ask. There’re no clocks in here, as well as no windows to give any indication.
“No clue,” Nikolai mutters, distracted by tweaking something on the computer.
My knees crack when I stand. Fuck, I’m getting old. I retrieve my phone from the side pocket of my guitar case. “Shit.” I have three missed texts from Penny.
“Everything okay?” Hayden asks.
I quickly reply, letting her know we’re still working. “Yeah, just forgot to reply to Aspen. She’s waiting on me for dinner.”
The guys are quiet, and I look up from my phone to find the three of them staring at me. “What?”
Nikolai suppresses a grin, while Walker says, “Never thought I’d see the day when you’re stressing about not responding to a girl fast enough.” He walks over and claps me on the back. “Welcome to the club.”
“Why don’t you invite her over for dinner?” Hayden says, then looks at everyone else. “Does everyone wanna invite the girls over? We can order pizza or something?”
Agreements ring out, everyone reaching for their equally ignored phones as I text Aspen back.
Me: Sorry we got into the flow and I lost track of time. Do you want to come over to Hayden’s house to eat? Gonna order pizza. The rest of the girls are invited too
I realize after sending it that maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned theother girlspart. I don’t want her to get in her head about Jane coming.
But at the same time, Jane’s part of my family. She’s just as much a part of this group as the guys, and her and Aspen are going to be around each other. I just gotta do a better job of making her feel comfortable.
Penny: No worries. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. And yeah pizza sounds good! Text me the address?
No mention of Jane or any worries about being around the entire group for the first time. It brings a smile to my face, but I quickly let it drop so the guys don’t see and give me shit about it. “Penny’s in,” I call out.
38
Aspen
I’m used to large group gatherings. Marley and Sara love to host at our apartment, and there are plenty of girls night outs that quickly add up to more than ten of us.
