“I’m aware.”
He’s utterly bewildered at my calm response. “You just got done telling me about how much you’ve fallen in love with coaching, and you’re just willing to throw that all away?”
“I’m not throwing it away, and did you miss the part where I also fell in love with her? That’s bigger than a job.”
“It’s your life we’re talking about here! Do you think you’ll just be able to find another coaching job if this gets out?”
“If it gets out. And I don’t know, man…as long as I have her, the uncertainty of what I’ll do next doesn’t feel so daunting.” The feeling is so unlike how I felt when I had to retire and was navigating what to do then.
He scoffs and gratefully accepts the fresh beer that’s set in front of him. After a few heavy gulps, he slams it down with more force than necessary. “You finally seem to have some spark back after fucking years, and you’re going to risk it for some girl? Jesus, Luke.”
“She’s not some girl so fuck off with that,” I grit out between clenched teeth. I expected his reaction, but the disrespect chafes. “And I only have it back because of her. If I was coaching the team without her, it wouldn’t have been the same. I mean, you saw her play. You see her talent. You know she’s special.”
“She better be since you fucked your life for her.”
“I didn’t fuck my life for her. My life has been empty the last three years, and she’s the first thing that has made any of it seem worth it.”
“She just can’t be worth?—”
“I know I just dropped a bomb on you right now, but I need you to cut the shit out. It’s not up for negotiation or debate on if you think she’s worth it to me or not. I’m telling you she’s wortheverything.”
Seb cracks his knuckles and stares at me, reading me in a way that only a big brother can. His silence only spurs me to keep going.
“I’m not asking you to understand the choices I’ve made. I know what I did was wrong. But I promise you, it doesn’t feel wrong with her. And once you meet her, I hope you’ll feel it, too.”
I hadn’t really considered what I would do if my family refused to support my relationship with Lennon, or vice versa. We had been so focused on keeping it a secret and finishing out the season that I didn’t think this far ahead.
But I know in my gut that if Seb or my dad can’t accept us, it won’t change how I feel about Lennon or moving forward with her. It would hurt, sure, but it would hurt more to lose her.
A muscle in Seb’s jaw ticks, but I see the surrender on his face. “You better prepare to do this all over again, because you’re a fucking idiot if you think I’m going to be the one to pass this information along to Dad.”
I chuckle and spin my glass around the smooth tabletop. “Please, I knew this was my warm-up.”
41
Luke
“Today is your day,” I whisper against Lennon’s hair. The scent of her vanilla shampoo floods my nose and brings a sense of calm to the storm inside of me. I might be more nervous than her. Dawn is just breaking through the hotel curtains, and soon I’ll have to get out of bed and leave her here to get ready.
“I know,” she breathes out heavily. “I can’t believe how fast the year has gone. It feels like just yesterday the season was starting off and you showed up…all mean and totally uninterested in doing your job.” She pinches my thigh, and I snatch her hand away and pin it to her chest. She giggles as she tries to fight back, but as strong as she is, she’s no match for me.
“There should be no complaints coming out of that smart mouth of yours about how I do my job. Ordid,” I correct with a bitter taste in my mouth. “Seeing as you told me it was your goal to get back here today, and look”—I roll her onto her back and prop myself up on my elbow so I can look at her—“you did it. One final game away from that title.”
Her eyes sparkle at the prospect, and in the early glow of the morning sun, she looks ethereal laid out beside me. Her white sleep tank rides up on her stomach, and I want to kiss every inch of flesh it exposes.
“One more game,” she echoes softly. “And the first one I’ll have to play today without you by my side.”
I stroke her cheek with my thumb, and she leans into my touch. “You’ll be amazing. You don’t need me there.”
“I know I don’tneedyou there, but Iwantyou there.”
“I want that, too. But your parents will be there cheering you on. If you need to find someone in the crowd to center you, find them.”
“Yeah…I’m glad Coach Maver didn’t say anything to them.”
“It’s because you’re an adult.”
“I know,” she says. “But I want to be able to tell them on my own. Maybe a few weeks from now. You could come over for dinner one night maybe?”
