“I’m going to play on Sunday,” I tell, not ask, Dr. Ray. “I don’t care what I have to do, but I’m playing.”
He adjusts his glasses before answering. “We need to do concussion protocol before I make any promises.”
“Whatever you need to do.”
I will make sure I pass whatever tests he puts me through because there is no way that I have worked this hard to get back to this position this year, only to miss out on it because of a hit.
Dr. Ray steps back, and Coach Maver turns to say something in his ear. They talk quietly enough that I can’t hear what they’re saying, but Dr. Ray flashes his eyes to me before saying something else to Coach. Her spine goes rigid, and that prickle of fear trickles back into the forefront of my brain.
Mom says something to me, but I don’t catch it, anxiety beginning to swirl.
Where’s Luke?
Coach clears her throat and nods to Dr. Ray. “Thank you,” she tells him. Then she looks at my mom. “Do you mind if I chat with Lennon? If you have any questions, Dr. Ray is happy to answer them.”
Mom pats my hand. “Sure thing. Are you okay if I step out?”
I nod, and she kisses my forehead before following Dr. Ray out of the room. The door clicks shut and silence falls over the cold, empty room.
Coach stands at the foot of the cot and crosses her arms. She stares down at her feet for a long moment before exhaling loudly and finally meeting my eyes.
And the moment she does, the moment I see the look on her face, I know all of my biggest fears are about to come true.
38
Luke
32: I had my mom sneak me my phone quick before Dr. Ray comes back in for concussion protocol
32: I’m okay
32: But she knows
I don’t even care about the final text that Lennon sent through. When Alice and I were out in the hallway after the second period, I knew it was over. But it’s been eating me alive not knowing how Lennon’s doing. Alice wouldn’t let me go see her or even go out and watch the end of the game. I’ve been confined to this random office in the arena here, pacing up and down so much I’m shocked I haven’t worn through the thin carpet.
Me: It’s going to be okay. I promise. I’m going to come see you as soon as I can
I need to see it with my own eyes. That she’s fine. That her head isn’t cracked open or she doesn’t have blood dripping down into her eye. Alice is right; not every hit is as severe as mine. But it does happen.
The door opens, and I whip my head over to see Alice step into the room and immediately shut it behind her. The air cools considerably as she turns her icy stare on me. She silently undoes the buttons at her wrists before slipping her jacket off and throwing it over the back of a chair.
Her face is set in a heavy frown and shoulders are tight with tension. The need to ask her about Lennon is crawling up my throat, demanding to be purged, but I keep my lips in a firm line. It’s best to not say anything right now and let her start.
She leans against a chair with one hand, propping the other on her hip. With a heavy exhale, she says, “I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to think really,reallyhard before you answer. I do not want you to lie to me. Because, Luke, I’ll find out the truth regardless. So save us both the time, and be honest.”
She pauses and I dip my chin.
“Did you cross a line with your athlete?”
I could lie. I probably should. Denial is the best chance I have of getting out of this. Well…there probably isn’t any getting out of this anymore. I shot that out of the window hours ago.
But I don’t want to lie to Alice. Not anymore. Not when lying has meant that I’ve been kept away from Lennon when everything inside of me is screaming to be at her side.
The best thing I can do now is try to mitigate the damage and protect Lennon in the fallout.
I look Alice directly in the eye as I answer, “Yes.”
The word is like a wrecking ball crashing through the wall. Alice’s head falls back, and she mutters something under her breath. I don’t elaborate. I don’t try to defend myself. Again, I need to let her lead this.
