“What happened?” Her voice cracks, and her stare remains unfocused.
Dr. Ray gives me a sharp look and nudges his shoulder forward, as if to push me out of the way. Every instinct screams at me to push back, to not be forced away, but he’s the one who can help her.
When it’s clear she’s not going to be able to skate off the ice herself right now, Dr. Ray motions for a stretcher. I step forward to help her on, but he places a hand in the center of my chest. “I think it’s best if you back up, right now.”
“Take your hand off of me,” I practically growl.
“Step back, Holloway.”
It goes against everything inside of me, but I relent and let his team get her loaded. They disappear down the tunnels, and my stomach twists the moment she’s out of my sight.
When I return to the bench, I plan to leave and follow Lennon, but Alice stops me. “Miller is going in. She needs you out here.”
But my girl needs me back there.
“But I think?—”
“I think I gave you an order,” Alice says with authority she’s never used with me. Her eyes are narrowed, and I have a hard time reading her expression.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. What did I just do…
She levels one last look at me before she turns to the team. “We have two minutes left in this period. Finish strong.”
Those final two minutes feel like a lifetime as I bounce anxiously on my toes, needing to get back to Lennon. And finally when the buzzer sounds and we make it back to the locker room, absolute fury rushes over me as Aubrey continues to spout off about Remington.
“Why the hell did I get a penalty when she’s the one who pushed me? It’s bullshit. It’s like we’re playing the refs out there, too.” She throws her helmet down and even though I know I should ignore it, go find Lennon, and keep my mouth shut, I can’t.
I fucking can’t.
I’m across the locker room in three steps, taking her and the surrounding girls by surprise. “You got a penalty because you were being fucking reckless out there,” I seethe. “Did you suddenly forget any fucking awareness of how much ice you had left as you continued at the speed you did, toward your own fucking teammate? While you were too wrapped up in trying to maintain your pride and not be outskated by your opponent, you sacrificed your goalie. Your fucking goalie!” My voice is rising with each word, drawing the attention of everyone in the room, but I don’t care.
Aubrey shrinks back, but all I see is red.
“You could’ve just ruined her life with your brainless fucking move. You better pray to whatever god you have that she’s alright?—”
“Coach Holloway!” Alice snaps behind me.
My chest heaves, and suddenly Alice stands between me and Aubrey, and she glares up at me with the heat of a thousand suns.
“Hallway. Now.”
I don’t look at anyone as I exit, but I feel the weight of their stares.
As soon as the door shuts to the locker room I whirl around on Alice.
“That could’ve been a career ending hit,” I yell.
She holds her hands up in defense, but a deep frown mars her forehead. “Not every hit is like yours, and it’s not an excuse to berate your players. Where the fuck is your head at right now?”
Not every hit is like mine, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen. And that it can’t happen at any point during a game. And the idea of it happening to her…
“Luke, I don’t know what is going on right now, but I promise you,” she says, voice deathly low, “if this is what I think this is…”
Hands on my hips, I stare down at my feet and bite my tongue.
“It better not be what I think,” she finally says.
It’s exactly what she thinks.
