Touché.
“What about your dad? I haven’t seen him at a game in a while. Although it looks like he’s been having fun in retirement with his woodworking.” She smiles.
“He has,” I say, scrapping a hand across my stubbled cheek. “You see all his pictures online of his projects, I take it?”
“Everyday.” Alice nods. “I’m glad to see him keeping busy.”
He’s never remarried since my mom passed, and once he retired years ago, I was worried he’d grow lonely and bored. But if anything, he seems to be doing better than he has in years.
That makes one of us.
As much as I respect Alice and have known her since I was a kid, the small talk is already growing exhausting. Since I’ve retired, the amount of time I spend around people these days isalmost nonexistent. A dull headache forms behind my right eye, and I blink against the fluorescent lighting.
“I gotta be honest,” I say, cutting to the chase. “I don’t know why the hell you want me. I’ve never coached before.” And it’s the girl’s hockey team, but I keep that thought to myself.
Alice studies me. “Everyone needs to start somewhere. Why not let this be your starting line?”
“I don’t even know if I want to coach.” Who the hell am I to motivate anyone? The past three years have been spent rehabbing, coming to terms with the fact that my career is over, and questioning what my purpose even is if I can’t do what I love anymore.
“Do you have something else you want to do? Some other job opportunity lined up that sounds better to you?”
My jaw clenches, and Alice nods her head triumphantly.
“That’s what I thought. Look, you may go through this season and realize it’s not for you. Trust me, I’ve seen great players try to coach once they retire and fail. Not everyone is cut out for it. Being a terrific player doesn’t automatically translate to being a terrific coach.” She leans her elbows on her desk and narrows her light eyes on me. “But I think you’re going to surprise yourself. If you allow it.”
I scoff and half-heartedly cover it with a cough. She’s sincere with her words, even if slightly misguided. There’s nothing that’s going to surprise me about myself. I know who I am.
Or who I was.
My throat is tight with bitterness and old resentment as I finally say, “I can’t make you any promises. Not that I’ll be any good at this or increase your chances at that championship title.”
“I’m sure a Frozen Four Championship title seems small to a Stanley Cup winner like yourself, but for me, for these girls, it’s the highest level they’ll be able to reach. We came close last year…” Alice trails off, looking away. “So damn close.” I knowthat look. When something that you want, that you worked for, was within your grasp but snatched away at the final moment. Any athlete you meet knows that feeling. “They’re hungry for it,” Alice continues, straightening up in her chair. “I’mhungry for it. And although you may discount yourself already, I think you can help us get there.”
I’m not some missing fucking puzzle piece to this team, but the determination on Alice’s face is enough to suppress me from voicing my doubt.
The chair squeaks as I lean back and cross one foot over my knee. “Like I said, I make no promises.”
“But…?”
“But,” I sigh, “I already signed the contract, so I guess I’m all yours.”
Alice’s eyes shine as she jabs an excited finger in my direction. “Not the ringing endorsement I was looking for, but I’ll take it! Alright, so I’d primarily like for you to work with our goalies. We’ve never had a coach on our staff who was a goalie themselves, and that’s an area that if we lock it up like I know we can…” She trails off with an excited breath. “It’s our year this year.”
I don’t have it in me to match her enthusiasm, so I simply nod.
“Our other assistant coach, Jenna Packley, won’t be back in the office until our first practice next week, so you’ll have to wait to meet her. She’s great with our defense and has been with the team for almost six years.”
Alice runs down a few other members of the faculty and explains how many of them are off on vacation with it being the last weekend before the semester kicks off. I try to pay attention, but it’s hard to focus when nothing grabs my interest. New faces, new names, I’ll worry about remembering them when I’m actually face-to-face with them.
Or if I decide I’m actually going to see this through, contracts be damned.
Alice spins her chair around and grabs a tablet off a charger that was resting on top of a file cabinet. She fiddles with it for a moment before sliding it across the desk to me. I lean forward and see she has a video pulled up. I flinch at the brightness level of the screen, and Alice quickly adjusts it with a pitying look on her face that grates against my nerves.
Before she presses play, she says, “The two players I’m primarily looking for you to work in practices with are Lennon Kilcrease and Grace Miller. Grace is a junior, so hopefully you’ll have more time to work with her not only this season, but also the next. She’s our backup goalie and honestly, doesn’t get as much ice time as her merit demands.”
“If she’s so talented, why is she the backup?”
Alice folds her hands on the desk and pulls her shoulders back proudly. “Because Lennon isthatgood.”
