But it’s not. And hasn’t been in a while.
I have this driving need to know more about Aria and Noah. What little I do know doesn’t answer my questions. Aria is mysterious and secretive. I can’t shake this growing hunch that there’s more to their story than she’ll admit, and somehow her dislike of me is part of this mystery, not to mention the terror in her eyes as she watched Noah and me picking out his gear. Does she think I’m some kind of child abuser? That can’t be it, or she wouldn’t let me near him no matter the reason.
I’m drawn to Noah in a way I can’t understand. I’ve worked with kids over the years and have never been personally involved. But Noah’s different. I’m not sure why I feel that way, but I do. The gratefulness on his face when I bought him the new gear warmed my heart to the point I fear it might burst from joy.
Unable to decipher my feelings, I choose to go with them and see where they lead me. I’m tired of fighting emotions that make no sense and distort the reality I thought I knew. Today I need to explore why I’m feeling this way. To dismantle and examine something incinerates its power over me, or so I believe.
So that’s what I’ll do.
With hours to go before our game, I slip into the bleachers and watch Noah, being careful to stay hidden from view. The kids have an early practice today due to a half day of school. I don’t want Aria to think I have nefarious motives. I spot her easily, sitting halfway down the bleachers with Gardenia.
My attention continually shifts from Aria to Noah and back. He doesn’t look a thing like his aunt. Does he look like his mom? His dad? And why should it matter to me?
Here’s the weird thing. It does matter.
Who is this guy who abandoned his own child, which is one of the worst sins in my book. I would know. I’m without a family myself. Not by choice, but by tragedy. Perhaps our mutual pain is why I feel so close to this kid I barely know. We’re kindred spirits. Neither of us has parents or a home to go home to. Sure, we both have where we live now, but it’s not like going back home where you lived with your family and did your growing up.
Noah reminds me of myself when I was that age. He even has some of my hockey moves and gestures. Maybe he has some Ukrainian blood in him.
I hate to see Noah going without. Hell, I have plenty of money, and I’d be glad to help if she’d accept it, but her pride wouldn’t let her.
There has to be something.
As I contemplate my options, Noah streaks down the ice, avoids defenders, and shoots the puck. It hits the back of the net. I leap to my feet, cheering, but quickly sit back down before anyone notices. Aria glances over her shoulder but doesn’t see me skulking in the dark upper bleachers.
I let go of the breath I’m holding. The last thing I want is for her to notice I’m here. She won’t appreciate my interest in her nephew. That’s one thing I know for a fact. On the other hand, lurking in the darkness isn’t a good look, nor does it instill confidence in my motives.
“Hey, kid’s got a nice shot, doesn’t he?” Banger sits down next to me. Startled, I jump and draw a satisfied chuckle from him.
“You scared the shit out of me, asshole. Do you always sneak up on unsuspecting teammates?” I glare in his direction, irritated at being caught and also by his complete amusement.
Banger snorts with unapologetic satisfaction. “What’re you doing here?”
I can’t think of a plausible excuse other than the truth. “I worry about Noah. All he has is Aria.”
“Yeah, that’d be worrisome to any of us.”
We both share a laugh. Aria is extremely unpopular with the team, considering the bullshit she’s written about us over the past two years.
“She lost her job and doesn’t have anything in the works. I bought the kid his hockey gear yesterday.”
“She let you do that?”
“She didn’t have a choice. I witnessed both of her credit cards being denied, so I stepped in.”
Banger nods with approval. “Good of you.”
“I feel sorry for him.”
“He seems to be doing okay considering he lost his mom a few months ago, and Dad’s not in the picture.”
“I think so, too, but I hate to see her lack of a job setting him back.”
“She got fired for refusing to write any more lies about us.”
“Yeah, imagine that.” I’m surprised too because the Aria I’ve always believed I knew wouldn’t have done that. She’d gladly accept a paycheck and keep destroying team dynamics and messing with players’ mojo. Only I’m not sure Aria is that person anymore. Sometimes doing things you’re not proud of is the lesser of two evils. She had Noah to think of. And why the fuck am I making excuses for her?
“The new guy is far worse. I hate to say it, but I miss Aria.”
