When he pushed the door open, Tay looked pale and wan and was sleeping. I rushed into him, expecting him to wake, but he didn’t stir. For a second, I thought he was dead after all.
I put my hand on his chest and felt its slight rise and fall. My breath released in a stutter. He looked so small in the grand four-poster bed, and I glanced around, trying to make sense of the room—a study that Fieran seemed to have repurposed.
There was an enormous fireplace, and the room was warm and cozy. A long table nearby seemed to have been turned into a temporary apothecary, covered with various potions and medicines in bottles.
“It’s going to be all right, Cara. I’m going to make sure your brother is well and goes home to Lidi and your mother.” He sounded so confident, so sure of himself. “Until I can arrange a deal with the Fae, he’s in the healing sleep. Totally safe.”
He sounded so sure that I could almost believe him.
I turned toward him. Of course, that meant I was looking at his chest. He was dressed for training, his close-fitting shirt that revealed the powerful lines of his chest and the narrow taper of his waist.
When I raised my gaze to his, he was looking down at me with something soft in those golden eyes. Sympathy, maybe. I raised my chin, feeling myself shutter.
I needed his help, but I hated his pity.
“Trust me, Cara,” he told me quietly. “For your sake, I’ll take care of Tay just as I’d take care of Dairen or Asrael.”
“Thank you,” I said the words woodenly. I wanted to say I didn’t trust him. I wanted to claw that quiet confidence off his face. But instead, I nodded. Because I needed him. And that made me hate myself just a little more.
He hesitated, as if he wanted to say something else, then simply inclined his head. “I’ll leave you with him.”
When he left, the door shut softly, sealing me into the hush of the room.
The air smelled faintly of herbs. Candlelight flickered across the walls, and shadows swayed over Tay’s still face.
I sank into the chair beside his bed, tears burning in my vision, and I blinked them away so I could study his face. “I’ll do whatever it takes to help you. If that means facing the Trials, I’ll find a way to be brave.”
I took his hand in mine. His skin was cool, too cool, and the chill seeped through my skin. I laid his hand back down gently, afraid to touch him again, and pulled the blanket carefully up to his thin shoulders.
The silence pressed in, thick and aching. Somewhere beyond the marble walls, the sea struck the cliffs in an irregular rhythm, like a heartbeat that wasn’t quite right anymore.
I stayed beside him for a long time, watching the fragile flutter and fall of his chest.
Twenty-Six
When I stepped out into the hall, Fieran was waiting. He leaned against the wall, looking relaxed and self-possessed, his arms folded over his powerful chest.
“Have you been waiting long?” I brushed the tears out of the corner of my eyes with a knuckle, blinking and hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“No.” He might be lying. Fieran always seemed as if he might be lying.
“Can I come here anytime to see him?”
“Yes, of course.”
“How?”
“I’ll bring you any time you want.”
Ander was right that Fieran was making me dependent on him. The thought sent a prickle of unease through me.
“And how do I get my brother back to our village?”
“Once he’s healed, I’ll bring him home. You can come with me.”
“Why are you making me wait to have him healed?”
“Cara. I just need to make sure you’re safely in my clan before I ask the Fae for favors. There aren’t supposed to be mortals who can shift. I need to keep you a secret.”
