And gods help me, I was always a little bit tempted to kiss him.
Instead, still heated by our contact in his room, I slipped inside. I would’ve closed the door between us, but Rees cast a needy look up at me, so I held the door for him.
“I can’t believe you stole my dog.” Fear seemed to fill the doorway, crossing his arms. A lazy, too-kissable smile spread across his lips. “It’s the only betrayal that really stings. I expect all the others, but hounds are supposed to be loyal.”
His shield for betrayals was a lie. I knew that now. But I wasn’t going to soothe his feelings; the last thing I needed was for Ander, an ally I needed, to discover me inviting Fear into Ander’s sacred space.
“Rees!” Tay said from behind me, and I smiled at his voice, glad to see my brother doing well again.
Tay had knelt and was rubbing Rees’s ears. I turned back to close Fieran out and found him grinning, a reflection of the look on my face, as if he were mirroring my joy.
My heart swooped like a bird. A stupid bird. The kind of bird that runs directly into the cat’s mouth.
“Goodbye, Fear,” I told him.
He gave me a look as if he knew it wouldn’t be easy for us to leave each other, but he went.
That night, Ander caught me in the hall, checked we were alone, thengave me a dark glower. He told me that he would prefer I attended training rather than fucking our rival clan leader.
Secrets were hard to keep around shifters.
I looked him in the eye, refusing to apologize. “I wanted to talk to him about my brother.”
“Fine. I would never stand between you and answers for Tay. Fieran can be a useful ally as long as you remember not to trust him.” He gave me a stern look. “I doubt you can remember that when you’re on his cock.”
“It’s just sex,” I told Ander.
“That mortal ability to lie to yourselves is impressive. Infinitely better than your swordsmanship, which is why training is probably a better use of your time than letting that asshole fuck you.”
Gods, I wanted away from this conversation. But I didn’t want to lose Ander as an ally by sneaking behind his back, and I didn’t intend to do anything to put myself in danger, either. I needed protection. “I’d like to see Kiegan tonight. If you don’t mind me spending time with another clan.”
“WithFieran’sclan?” he said pointedly. “Do as you will. Just don’t leave the grounds, and try to stay off Fieran.”
Before I could respond tothatorder, he added, “I’ll make sure Tay gets dinner and keep an eye on him.”
“Thank you,” I said, genuinely touched he was looking out for my brother, especially given his current ire.
He made a small, gruff sound at the back of his throat, but nodded.
When Kiegan stepped out of Bismyth’s hall, an unexpected lurch of happiness careened through me.
That sentiment was paired with an even stranger longing not just for him, but for the hallway behind him, for the door that closed behind his clan. I wanted to belong here. I wanted to be in Bismyth, with my closest friend and with the bonds I’d made with the clan.
The realization hit hard, and I shoved it down. I didn’t belong here.Maybe I never had. I’d thrown myself into saving Lidi and Tay, trying to protect my family, even though I’d failed miserably. There was no undoing those choices.
“Cara,” Kiegan said, as if he’d been expecting me. “Knife-throwing?”
He said it casually, as if we were resuming a conversation we’d started over lunch, though I hadn’t seen him all day.
“All right.”
He came to the door and greeted Rees with far more enthusiasm than he had me.
“Don’t you need to get them?” I asked as he stepped onto the staircase with me.
He snorted. “I always have my knives.”
“Probably for the best. Where are we going for knife-throwing practice?”
