“Then it’s no place for you,” he reminded me.
“I’m dragon-marked. I’m…one of them, more than I’m anything else.” If I went home, I would burn. I didn’t doubt that now after trying to escape the Trials. “I’ve never belonged in the village any more than I belong here.”
“I’m not leaving without you.” His jaw was tight. “You would never abandon me. You think I’d abandon you?”
“Tay, that’s not what I’m saying.”
He stood. Then he hesitated, his frustration forgotten as he looked down at the remnants of the feast. “What will happen to the food?”
“Servants will come in and clean it up.”
“Mortal servants.” His voice was flat.
There was usually no point in specifying. The servants were almost always mortal, but more importantly, the mortals were always servants.
He picked up a piece of fruit and stuck it into the pocket of his fine gold tunic. He was dressed as richly as if he were the queen’s son himself rather than a mortal.
He was dressedbetterthan the queen’s son usually was, given how Fieran almost always wore his leathers and blades.
He caught my gaze. “In case it would go to waste,” he mumbled, color flushing his cheeks.
“I do the same,” I admitted, reaching to pick up another piece of fruit. “It goes moldy under my bed, and I feel…”
I trailed off, glancing away. I wouldn’t have even admitted that much to anyone else in this castle, and I felt a rush of relief that he was here to understand. “There’s always plenty the next day.”
“And there’s always a next day,” he said, as if he were convincing himself.
“Always,” I said, giving in to my impulses and smoothing a napkin onto the table. Just a little cheese, a little fruit.
The two of us shared a mischievous, embarrassed smile.
When Fieran and Ander appeared at the doors together, every bit of happiness I felt curdled like a pail of milk left in the sun.
Tay clearly didn’t get it, because he flashed me a smile. “Which one?”
I couldn’t rise to banter just then. I felt as if the bright shimmering night had flattened out, like a page being turned in a book from a colorful, gilt-edged illustration to a blank page.
“No.” I moved in between Tay and the two men walking toward us now. “You can’t take him away.”
“Cara, you are always searching for the smart path forward,” Fieran told me softly. “Don’t disappoint me now.”
“Fuck you, Fear.” I turned away, and he wrapped his arms aroundme. I grabbed his forearm, ready to lash out with claws and teeth, but Tay was watching us wide-eyed. I didn’t want to make him afraid.
“It’s going to be all right.” Ander glared at Fieran over my head. “The queen is insisting he stays in the castle. Near her best healers.”
“Healers for a curse?” My voice came out very soft, meant for only the two of them with their sharp hearing. “Or is he just close enough for the queen to put that curse back on him, now that it can be the price of my disobedience?"
Ander’s face reflected that I understood the game. This trial was most of all about loyalty, and making sure it belonged to the queen.
Tay had come to us, his face worried, and I reached up and rested my hand on Fear’s shoulder. “I suppose I should introduce you to my friend. This is Fieran.”
“I remember. And I remember you.” Tay met Ander’s gaze.
“They say you have to stay here,” I said.
“I know. The queen said I can see you after the selection tomorrow.”
My gaze darted toward Ander’s. The cost. I wanted to know what it was right now, but I didn’t want Tay to worry.
