I hurried up the rest of the stairs and into my room, where I closed the door behind me and checked it was locked before I pulled the bracelet out from where I’d stashed it under my mattress.
I worried the beads between my thumb and forefinger, feeling the engraving, before I crushed one between my fingers. It crumpled to dust instantly, dust that trickled beneath my fingers, sparkling, only to vanish in mid-air.
Ander would know I needed him. I slipped the bracelet into my pocket, hating to carry something that tied me to him, and walked briskly through the common areas.
Rees rose suddenly from under the table. I frowned at him, forcing myself to still. “Where’s your master?”
Rees padded toward me, his ears flattened against his head. My heart hammered as Rees sniffed around my legs. His nose rooted against my leg through the fabric, up and up until he bumped it against my pocket.
The dog gave me the same kind of judgmental look I expected if any of these shifters discovered my hoarding habits. Then he bumped my pocket with his nose again.
“Fine.” I glanced over my shoulder, making sure we were alone in the room. I drew another napkin roll of smoked meat and cheese out of my pocket.
I hadn’t managed to unroll the napkin entirely before his snout was in my hands. His mouth scraped against my palms, and I bit down hard on my lip, trying to stay still, as he devoured my stolen snacks.
“You better not tell Fieran I’m spoiling you,” I told the dog. I wasn’t sure what to do with the dog-slobber napkin, so I abandoned it on the table, knowing it would be taken up by some of the servants. Then shame washed over me, picturing the mortals who would tidy up after my laziness.
Rees gave me a look with those huge brown eyes of his, as if to remind me he didn’t speak.
“I’ve got to go,” I told him. “And also, I don’t know why I’m talking to you. You’re just a dog.”
Rees snorted.
I edged around him—nervous when I didn’t have any meat—and headed for the door. There was the sound of padding feet and clicking nails behind me, so I turned.
The dog bumped into my legs, and I almost died of panic.
“I’m out of food,” I whispered hotly, because apparently I was incapable of not talking to the dog. “Stay here.”
But when I went out onto the stairs, he followed me. I glanced back helplessly, unsure of how to control the beast; it wasn’t as if I could drag him into Fieran’s room. The hall beyond the common room was locked, and the archway between the common room and the rest of the barracks was always left open during the day. The dog could always come and go as he pleased.
But why did it please him to followme?
I went down the stairs as half a dozen Bismyth shifters I only knew by sight were coming up.
A man with a black eye and a mop of fiery red hair stopped to let us pass, grinning. “He used to follow Fear around. Did you steal his dog?”
“Gods, I hope not.” Our relationship was confined to the hound extorting me for sausage links.
Though the thought of Rees choosing me over Fieranwasdelicious.
Followed by the dog, I crossed the palatial foyer to the corridors, hoping I could find the life dome without getting hopelessly lost. Ander should be able to find me.
Rees padded alongside me, then went ahead. I thought I’d lost him, and I worried about him.
When I turned into the door of the empty life dome—feeling triumphant—the dog was already sitting in the darkness, one leg stuck out to lick himself.
I slipped into one of the seats and stared up at the glittering stars.
At Tay and Lidi’s stars, and mine.
The three of us clustered together above me, despite being scattered across the kingdom. I pictured Tay lying still in bed in a stranger’s house. Was he aware at all of where he was? Did he ever surface from sleep to find himself alone and bewildered?
Was Lidi cold, sleeping in bed without being able to push her little feet into the small of my back? I remembered all the times I’d woken up to her cold feet on my legs and how I’d reminded her a hundred times, without effect, of the miracle of socks.
The memory made me smile even as the threat of tears stung my eyes. I blinked them away. I didn’t deserve to sit here and cry; I had to find my way through the hell I’d created and back to them.
I jolted at the sight of the big figure out of the corner of my eye before I heard his voice.
