“You don’t get to fucking say that to me,” I whispered. “Not after what you took from me.”
“I know.” His voice faltered as he got closer. “But it’s still true. I’m so sorry, Shiloh. Please, Baby Boy. I will live every breath I have to make this up to you. Please stay, Sunshine. Just…love me too, okay? Please…love me too.”
The rain lashed at us with renewed fury, drowning the silence that followed, until the only thing between us was thunder, lightning, and the undeniable fact that he’d said love. I couldn’t unhear it, no matter how much I wanted to do it.
The storm swallowed us whole in this moment. We stood across from each other, breaking in two, with the only chance of healing lying in the reason we’d fallen apart. My chest heaved, my breath burning, and Carrington just stood there, like he could weather anything if it meant being together. But then his eyes locked on mine, haunted and desperate.
I knew he couldn’t. He was broken, too.
Before I could push him away again, he moved toward me, pleading with those golden eyes. His hand fisted in the front of my hoodie, yanking me forward hard, and then his mouth crashed against mine.
The kiss was brutal, desperate, an apology, and a plea. His lips were fire against the cold rain, as his breath tangled with mine. His whole body pressed into me like he was trying to fuse us together. Pulling away wasn’t an option. My mind screamed to shove him off, but my traitorous body gave in.
For one reckless, ruined minute, I let him kiss me.
I needed it.
I needed him.
I let myself taste the truth in his kiss.
Confession, apology, the aching hunger that had been chewing us alive since the moment we met.
I clung to him with shaking hands, part of me begging to believe in his words, to sink into him and never come up for air. A part of me knew there was nothing left to hold onto, nothing but the darkness seeping in.
Reality came slamming back into me.
I tore away from him, shoving his chest so hard he staggered back and fell onto the hard pavement. My lips burned where his kiss touched, my chest felt like it was breaking, and my rage poured out like the storm above us.
“I hate you.” The words ripped out of me, vicious and trembling. “Do you hear me? I fucking hate you. Stay away from me, Carrington. You wanted the darkness? Now it’s all I have. If you chase me again, I will kill you.”
His face broke, just for a fleeting moment, tears streaming down his cheeks, joining the relentless rain. Straightening, he clenched his jaw, but his eyes stayed wrecked and raw in a way I’d never seen before.
I turned away from him, storming toward my car. My hands shook as I gripped the door handle, yanking it open and sliding behind the wheel before I stopped myself. My chest was a mess of sobs, my throat raw from the words unspoken.
Through the blur of the rain-streaked windshield, I saw him still standing in the rain, in the same spot I left him in.
He was soaked to the bone, fists clenched at his sides, his shoulders squared like he’d take the whole storm if it meant I’d return to him one more time.
But I didn’t.
I shoved the key in the ignition, let the engine roar to life, and with one last glance at his silhouette dissolving into the downpour, I pressed the gas pedal and left.
The tires hissed through the flooded pavement as I sped away, leaving him in the storm—alone, soaked, and drowning in my hatred.
And still, my lips wouldn’t stop burning from the taste of him.
All the broken fucking pain I felt had me drowning too.
Because the truth was…I didn’t hate Carrington.
Fuck me.
I loved him.
The rain didn’t let up the whole way out of Kentucky. It was like miles upon miles of pouring rain were determined to drown me.
I drove with the window cracked, even though it let in sheets of water, soaking my arm and the side of my face.
