I shook my head.
“No. You can’t…stop this. I am begging you.” Panic lanced through me. My hands twitched, trembling, while my heart trilled in my ears, making me feel deaf to everything else. “You’re insane, don’t do this. You can stop this. Please. Don’t hurt her.”
He laughed softly, the sound sharp in the silent air as he walked to stand behind her.
“Insane? Maybe. But she’s your leash. You cling to her because she keeps you from seeing what’s real. I am real, Sunshine, and so is this choice. You will see. You will finally see.”
I stood from the hay and stepped toward him, desperate and terrified.
“Carrington…listen to me…I love you. I-I can’t forgive you if you do this to me. I will hate you with everything in me.”
“Good. At least you will no longer be blind. You will finally understand who you are.” He lunged toward her, my knife slashing forward.
I couldn’t think, my body pulled by terror and desperation. I reacted before my mind could catch up. I ran forward, leaning over Xanthy and grabbing his wrist as the knife hovered over her bare chest. Panic fueled me.
“Please, Care Bear. Stop!”
“No, you need to accept your true self.”
We grappled in a dangerous dance, twisting, shoving, our movements jerky and violent, yet weighted with something more that we couldn’t deny…all the love, fear, and desperation, waiting for the other to submit.
The knife slid between us, over and over, slicing Carrington and me with shallow cuts. The blood on our bodies gleamed in that damn swinging lamp, catching the flicker of the single bulb above.
“You don’t have to do this,” I shouted, my every breath jagged as I tried my hardest to take the knife away from him.
I had to stop him.
I couldn’t let him kill Xanthy.
She didn’t deserve this—two bastards who used her for a means to an end.
“I can’t let you hide behind her anymore. Can’t you see she’s your crutch? If killing her means you are free…then so be it. You have to see. Why can’t you just let me show you how to love me? I know I’m fucked up. I know I’m not good for you, or anyone, but if you just let me show you. I promise you can love me back. Please let me open your eyes, maybe I can show you I’m not justdarkness. You can’t continue living a lie when it’s what has kept you blind, Shiloh.”
His voice cracked, the mania fully taking over as tears streamed down his beautiful face. The tremor made my chest ache, and I fought him harder, the stings of the blade barely registering anymore as the pain from my broken heart took hold.
We slammed into the altar, knocking Xanthy onto the floor.
She was still unable to move, screaming through the thick tape on her mouth.
The knife clanged onto the slab, and my hands found his shoulders, trying to push him back. He pressed forward and forced my arms to strain.
We were slippery from the blood, and sparks of panic flared through my veins, blinding me.
Every moment carried the weight of a lifetime—the past, the fear, the love, and the fucking impossible decision he was forcing me to make.
He twisted the knife, his grip hardening, his eyes wild. “Shiloh, choose. Her or me.”
“I…I can’t…I can’t,” I gasped, my voice breaking.
I felt sweat and blood mix on my hands, the adrenaline burning my muscles, but I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t let him win this.
He can’t kill Xanthy. He will never be the same.
And neither will I.
“Choose, Sunshine. The mask of light or of darkness, which do you belong to? Choose. Or I’ll do it for you. You can’t live like this. You can shut me out, fine. You can leave me, fine. But…I love you even if you can’t love me. I choose you. I always will. You are my light. Just open your eyes.”
The knife started to slip from my grip, and he secured my hands around the handle…. hard. The knife was poised overXanthy’s frozen, terror-filled eyes. He was going to make me kill her. He was forcing me to take away the light.
