He cups my face gently, and I resist the urge to lean into him. I’m still pissed, even when I want to melt into him.
“I don’t know how to let you out of my sight without losing my mind,” he admits. “If I lose you—” He doesn’t finish. He can’t. It shreds him like shrapnel. “It was hard enough when it was just you to protect, but now you’re carrying my child and that changes everything. I barely slept last night thinking about all the things that could happen to you.”
My chin wobbles and I force my tears back. I want to give him this, and usually I bend to whatever he asks, but I can’t. I won’t wear chains in our marriage.
“It’s too much.” It spills out of me in brittle pieces.
Doesn’t he see that he’s going to break me under the weight of being his entire world?
“I know,” he agrees, “but you’re so fucking precious to me. And I won’t apologize for protecting what’s mine. I can’t.”
I cover his hands. He’s warm and solid.
And trembling.
This beautiful man who owns my heart is crumbling under the weight of losing everything, but I’m still here. Still breathing. Still his. “Don’t put me in a cage because you’re scared,” I whisper. “I won’t survive it.”
“I’m trying, Mia.” He brushes his mouth over my forehead like he’s tormented. Like he’s so afraid of anything touching me, he can’t function. “Mike’s the compromise.”
I shake my head. “He’s just another shackle.”
He flinches, then he exhales slowly, like it costs him to show so much restraint. “You want freedom? This is the only way, Mia.”
He’s not going to back down. I can see it in his eyes. I’m used to Jensen controlling every aspect of my schedule, my security, and I know why, but the system we had worked. Me and Theo worked.
This is chafing.
But I’m late. And I don’t have time to argue with him. I step back and watch his hands drop to his sides. “I have to leave.”
He grabs my wrist, his touch light, but his voice is low and raw. “Mia, I love you. And I love our baby. I just want you safe.” I know he does. He shows it every moment of every day. “Please, sweetheart.”
When he asks like that, I don’t know how to say no.
“Fine.” I’ll take the two bodyguards and I’ll let them trail around after me because he needs this, and I need him. “But no more security, Jensen, okay?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he kisses me. His mouth moves slow and tentative, soaked in the love of a man devoted to me since we were teenagers who barely understood what that meant.
And I give him what he wants.
TEN
MIA
I gaspfor air between the violent retches that tear out of my body. I sound like I’m possessed by a demonic force, and the way my throat burns, it’s possible I am.
For the last week, I’ve been sick or felt sick every damn day. It’s like the moment I got that positive test, my symptoms dialed up to eleven.
I’m exhausted, drained to the point where my limbs feel like I’ve run a marathon while dragging weights behind me.
Trembling, I hang my head over the toilet, my stomach convulsing as I try to manage a body that’s no longer mine.
I should’ve known better than to eat. Every time food passes my lips, I end up on the bathroom floor. But if I don’t eat, my husband will have me admitted to a private hospital before I can blink, complete with specialists and a twenty-four seven fetal monitor.
My hand drifts to my stomach, and despite everything, a smile tugs at my lips. I’m already so in love with this little nugget growing inside me—even if it’s trying to kill me.
My body feels different. And not just because I’m throwing up. My hips are fuller and there is the tiniest swell between myhip bones. It’s probably bloat, but to me it’s proof that my baby is real.
“Mia?”
