I whip around to face him.
His eyes are furious, blazing at me. But I know how to hit back.
“Right, so you want her to turn out like you? Unable to function without your family’s approval? At least I know my family were abusive, Art. At least I was able to recognize that and leave before they could turn me into them.”
“The difference is at least they could provide for me, Nina. That's what our family does. We provide. Regardless of what we’ve done, blood is thicker than water. And Ava is part of that now.”
I ignore the hot tears springing into my eyes, though they threaten to fall. My chest aches with the reminder of how easily my family rejected me, refusing me support in my moment of need.
The Petrovs weren’t the only ones who ruined my life when I got pregnant.
I will not let him win this one.
“They're looking at her like she's another way to get power, Art. The exact same way they look at you, and I hate it.”
He shakes his head, turning away from me. “That's how family works Nina.”
I let out a laugh. “Don't you think it's fucked up that we're goingto be the ones who teach what family is? When neither of us has known normal in our entire lives?”
“We can give her better.” He grasps for my hand but I pull away.
“I have given her better, Art. For four years, she wasn't subject to this kind of bullshit. No one tried to use her as a pawn in a game.”
Art’s jaw tenses. “No one will hurt her Nina. Because she's my daughter, and they wouldn’t dare fuck with me.”
I wish I could believe that.
34
ARTYOM
Valentin and Karolina say their vows, but I’m not focused on them.
Tonight is not about the newly married couple. It's about proving to Nina that this family is a safe place for her and Ava.
I've watched her fade, over the past few days. Since Denis — she was with me then, more alive than ever.
There was a special kind of satisfaction that came from knowing that I’d shown her the darkest part of me and she hadn’t run screaming. She’d let me hold her, let me show her what it meant that she could look on without flinching while I did what needed to be done.
But now…
I look over to where she sits by my side in a sunny yellow dress. Her dark hair is braided away from her face but cascades over hershoulders. I don’t know if anyone else would detect that there’s something wrong. It’s subtle, but the tension is tight across her brows and around her lips, and she’s folded in on herself.
Ava is cuddled against her side, but Nina doesn't even seem to register the affection.
Her eyes are fixed blankly at the front of the room, where Valentin is sweeping Karolina into his arms to march her down the aisle. It’s cheesy, and over-the-top, and a definite cover for the lack of chemistry between them. Everyone else in the room is clapping in time with the music, but Nina is perfectly still.
Karolina laughs loudly, looping her arms around Valentin’s neck, as they exit the church.
I appreciate the effort they’re both going to. Even if this marriage is nothing more than a business deal now.
Valentin wanted to back out of the arrangements — of course he did, the bastard can’t commit to attending a business meeting, let alone decades of marriage — but it made the most sense to continue. If we backed out of the arrangement now, Karolina’s family would have cut off the critical supply of drugs for us to run. It’s not good for business to back out of deals.
I suppose you could say I'm just as bad as Denis, forcing Valentin into this. But I had to punish him somehow for his backstabbing.He may be my cousin, the closest thing I’ve got to a brother, but I can’t show weakness.
Not at a time like this, when the tremors of Denis’s death are rattling the branches of our family tree.
Karolina was happy to go ahead with the arrangement, even whenI made sure she was appraised of exactly how loveless the marriage would be, how unlikely it was that Valentin would ever settle down.
