I had no idea of the sex of the baby yet, so I moved past the clothing and toward the stuffed animals.
There were so many. Everything from bears to dogs to giraffes to monkeys. They were soft and I took my time, until I came across a little stuffed bear wearing a T-shirt with a motorcycle on it.
That was the one. My baby’s first stuffed animal.
I hugged it close to my chest as I walked around the rest of the store, feeling just a little bit of my happiness fade as I looked at the cribs and rocking chairs. How was I going to tell my parents about this? Would they be okay with turning my sitting room into a nursery?
First things first, I needed to tell Butch.
Buying the stuffed bear, I went home. My mom’s car was in the driveway, but I didn’t see her on my way through the foyer and up the stairs. I shut myself into my suite of rooms, only to stop dead in my tracks as the sight of my mom sitting there.
“Uh...Mom. What are you doing here?” I asked, moving the plastic bag with the baby store’s logo on it behind my back so she couldn’t see. She didn’t usually come into my room like this, it was a violation of my privacy. I was an adult, for God’s sake.
“You know, I was sure that there was something going on with you,” she started, her voice strangely flat. “You’ve been acting so strangely lately, spending so much time out of the house without an explanation, And your attitude...you’ve been so snarky. So I thought it would be a good idea to look around, make sure that you’re okay.”
“You mean, look around my room?” I asked sharply.
“Yes.”
“Oh my God, Mom. I’m not a child anymore. You can’t just go through my things.”
“I found these,” she said, holding up my three pregnancy tests. They’d been tucked into my sock drawer, a silly sense of endearment driving me to keep them instead of tossing them in the trash like I probably should have.
“Good,” I said, mustering up all the courage I had and looking her in the eye. “You needed to find out anyway.”
“Good,” she repeated. “Good?Nothing about this is good. Iknowyou haven’t been sleeping with Hunter, Sabrina. So whose child is this?”
I wanted to flinch under her hard gaze, but I didn’t. “His name is Butch.”
“And does this Butch have a last name?”
“You don’t know him.”
She stood, her back straight and her mouth angled down on each side in a deep frown.
“Then how doyouknow him? Or better yet, tell me why thisButch”—she spat his name like it was a curse—“is better than your fiancé. He’s going to be president someday, you know that, right?”
“I met Butch at a biker bar,” I said, knowing it would infuriate her.
“What?” Her breathing seemed to pick up, and she looked thoroughly scandalized. “Why in heaven’s name were you even in a place like that?”
“I was there for some fun, Mom, and I found it.”
I was antagonizing her now, and I told myself to stop, but I wasn’t sure that I could. After the years of fighting for her approval, I was fed up with it. I already loved this baby, and she was acting like it was a huge mistake.
“Sabrina Jayne, don’t you dare speak to me like that.”
“Why not?” I asked, throwing my hands up. “You already went through my private things, destroying any boundaries between us.”
“Don’t be so dramatic.”
I let out a laugh, a full-bodied, loud one that I couldn’t control.
“I’mthe dramatic one in your eyes? Are you kidding me?”
By the time I got my laughter under control, my mom was staring at me like I was a challenging puzzle she was trying to figure out.
“Is this an act of rebellion?” she asked. “A way to hurt me?”
