I had to repeat this to myself three times as I watched Trainer throw a thick leg over his motorcycle and ride it to the bar across the street. I couldn’t let myself get involved with a man right now. Maybe not ever again.
Hadn’t I learned my lesson? Men were trouble.
And this man? The leather-bound, mountain of a man that looked just a littletoowild with his curly black hair and full, matching beard? There was no way hooking up with him would be a good idea.
Yet, I didn’t get any feelings of menace from him. I could barely register anything other than the desire flooding my body. I hadn’t felt this attracted to a man in years, if ever. Maybe it was that wild quality that I knew should keep me away. Maybe it was the muscles that I could tell he had, even under his leather jacket. Maybe it was the concern in his eyes when hopped off the bike to make sure I was okay.
It didn’t matter. I needed to focus on building a life for my son and keeping both of us safe. I didn’t need a sexy distraction.
Besides, it probably wasn’t a mutual attraction. Mortification slammed into me as I recalled my tumble onto the sidewalk. I’d gotten too distracted ogling Trainer, and humiliated myself. He must have thought I was such an idiot…
With that thought in mind, I turned away from The Blue Dog and made my way down the sidewalk. Getting into my car, I checked the time on my cheap burner phone. I had ten minutes before I had to pick Dominic up from the babysitter.
I hated being away from him, especially now that we were in hiding from Jeff, but after I’d met with Swole on Friday, I had known that I had no choice. To my delight, I got the job teaching yoga classes at the fitness studio.
When I showed up asking about an application that afternoon, Swole had been standing at the front counter. She had introduced herself to me as Susie Holt, and I almost laughed. She didnotlook like a Susie. When she asked that I call her by her nickname, Swole, I quickly agreed. Somehow, that name suited her much better.
Swole invited me into her office for an interview on the spot, even with Dominic tagging along. Of course, a seven-year-old boy wasn’t going to sit by quietly while adults talked, especially not after consuming all the sugar in a banana split. I was nervous about his presence tanking the interview, but Swole shocked me by pulling a box of legos out of the bottom drawer of her desk and inviting Dominic to scoot his chair closer to the edge of her desk and play with them. When I sent her a questioning look, she showed me a picture on her desk of herself with another woman and little boy that couldn’t be older than five. Apparently, her wife worked at the fitness center too, and their son often spent time there after school.
Just like that, I relaxed. Swole might be the most muscular woman I’d ever seen - hell, she was built bigger than most men I knew - and I sensed that she wasnota woman to be trifled with, but hearing the affection in her voice when she spoke about her son made me feel like we had some common ground.
Still, I knew it was a long shot when we started talking about the position. I had to admit that I had never taught yoga before, but I was quick to assure her that I was no novice. I had been doing yoga for years, ever since I had started to help get back into shape when Dominic was born.
Swole seemed completely on board, despite my inexperience, until I confessed that I needed to be paid in cash, with no paper trail. She had paused and stared at me for a long time through narrowed eyes. I felt like I was under a microscope and had to force myself not to squirm. She must have seen something revealing in my expression, because hers softened, and she told me that we could work something out.
I could hardly believe my luck and spent the whole weekend researching tips and techniques for teaching yoga. The toughest thing was finding a babysitter for Dominic. Jeff had kept us isolated as well as he could for so long that I wasn’t used to being away from my son for any length of time. Add in the looming threat of Jeff somehow hunting us down, and I was a nervous wreck about dropping him off with a sitter.
But I understood that this was a part of life as a single mother.
So, I turned to social media. Finding a mom group in the area, I asked for recommendations. That was how I found a former elementary school teacher named Jennifer that had an in-home daycare. The other three children she babysat were around Dominic’s age, and all of their mothers sang her praises. I just hoped that Dominic made friends with the others. He needed a few friends. We both did.
Starting the car, I merged into traffic. The babysitter’s house was on the opposite side of La Playa, but it was worth the drive to know that Dominic was in good hands. I gripped the steering wheel, and a stinging sensation in my left hand reminded me that I had a scrape to tend to when we got home. I hadn’t been lying to Trainer when I said that I’d had worse. There were still bruises on my ribs that ached worse than this flesh wound. Jeff’s obsession with appearances meant that he was always careful when he took his anger out on me. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to see the bruises. It would tarnish his reputation. My face was off-limits. Usually my arms too. But parts of my body that were always covered by clothes were free game.
Bastard.
I tried to force those thoughts to the back of my mind as I neared the babysitter’s house. I needed to wear my poker face for Dominic.
When I rang the doorbell of Jennifer’s house, the thundering sound of running feet could be heard on the other side of the door.
“Don’t answer the door, guys. Only adults can do that.” Jennifer’s patient voice could be heard clearly.
“But it’s my dad,” a young girl’s voice replied.
“Huh-uh,” a boy replied. “It’smymom.”
I didn’t hear Dominic’s voice, but I hoped that he was there with the other kids.
“Why don’t you let me open it, and we’ll see?” Jennifer suggested.
When she pulled open the door, I was met with four eager faces staring up at me, practically buzzing with excitement.
“Ha!” Dominic cried out triumphantly. “It’s mine.”
The kids all jostled each other playfully, and I felt a stinging at the back of my eyes. I had never seen him like this. So carefree and playful. It was like he always repressed a part of himself before now, and he was starting to open himself up and be a kid for the first time. We had been in La Playa less than a week, and the kid was blossoming.
“How was he?” I asked Jennifer, glad that my voice didn’t betray how choked up I felt. I stepped inside, closing the door behind myself. The kids were thoroughly distracted by their chattering, not paying any attention to the two of us.
“A little shy at first,” Jennifer said, watching the kids as we talked. “But, as you can see, he started coming out of his shell after a while.”
