“I was,” I admitted, after taking a long sip of my wine.
“Well, I guess it all worked out well, with that bastard husband of yours having that accident and all.”
I wasn’t sure if Tammy was speaking what she believed to be the truth or if she was just being delicate about the topic because our sons were nearby. I wasn’t sure if Swole would have shared the truth with her. Either way, thatwasthe official story. Jeff’s body had been discovered in his mangled car in southern California. It looked like he’d been driving along a mountain road and ended up going over the edge, most likely due to the cocaine, since they’d found copious amounts in the car.
At least, that was what the police officer said when he showed up to break the news. The distance the car fell was so massive that his body had been badly damaged, and the cause of death was clear without an autopsy. That didn’t sound quite right to me, but I suspected that someone might have been paid off to sweep this under the rug.
I wasn’t sure how the Outlaw Souls pulled it off, but it did explain why Trainer seemed so tired the morning after his deadly altercation with Jeff. It was a long round trip drive down to the southern tip of the state.
“How’s Dominic doing?”
“Wonderful,” I said truthfully. I had told Dominic that his dad wouldn’t be coming back. I’d been careful to avoid the word dead, but he was an exceptionally bright kid, and I thought that he had a pretty good idea anyway. “He and Trainer are getting along well.”
“You know, I never would have pegged him as the father type, but he’s really taken to it, hasn’t he?”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing lately, but I don’t know how he really feels about Dominic, you know?” Maybe the wine was a bad idea, as it seemed to be making me more loose-lipped than usual.
“You think he just accepts the kid because he loves you?”
I nodded, “It’s what I’m afraid of. I want him to love Dominic, not just tolerate him because we’re a package deal.”
“Have you asked him about it?”
“Not yet. I feel like everything has been happening so quickly. I’ve barely had the chance to catch my breath.”
Not only had Dominic and I moved in with Trainer, but I had to deal with Jeff’s estate. As his wife, everything he had was now mine. The house, the money, everything. I didn’t particularly want it. The money made me feel cheap somehow, like I was being paid off for my suffering. A lot of it was going to charity, with enough put aside to put Dominic through college. The problem with the house was the same problem I had with my duplex. It was tainted by the things Jeff had done to me there. So, I was selling it. Before it went on the market, I wanted to return one more time and see if there’s anything I want to keep, since I had to leave so quickly when I came to La Playa. I had been delaying the return trip until Trainer could take time away from the club and his work on the latest bike he’d been fixing up. He didn’t want me to go alone. Ever since finding me unconscious on the floor, he’d been in touch at all times. He even bought a Bluetooth headset that he had installed in his helmet so that he could take calls when on rides. He also rarely let me go anywhere alone without a fight. Some people might find it annoying, but I recognized it for what it was: uncontrollable fear. If he needed to be a little overbearing for a while to feel better, I was going to let him. Besides, it was nice having someone care so much. I wasn’t sure what I did to deserve it.
“Find time to tell him about your concerns. It might be difficult to find a good balance in the relationship at first, since you can’t force an emotional attachment. But trust me, it’s very possible to love a child that’s not biologically related to you with all your heart.”
I knew that she was right. There was no way to know what Trainer felt without asking him. I had already made the mistake of assuming that I knew what he was thinking when I woke up in the hospital. I wouldn’t do that again.
My phone vibrated on the kitchen table, and I picked it up to see a message from Trainer.
Just got home. You with Tammy?
It was more than just a lucky guess. I wasn’t able to work until my ribs healed – the ability to move around freely was obviously an important part of teaching yoga – so I had been spending a lot of time with Tammy during the day, since she only worked part-time at the fitness center. It gave me some much-needed adult company while Trainer was at the auto shop. I typed out a quick response.
Yep. Playdate for Dom and Emory.
I had barely sat my phone back down when it buzzed again. I gave Tammy an apologetic smile, but she was used to it by now. Frequent texting was a part of the extra-protective vibe he’d had lately. Opening up his message, I was surprised by what I saw.
Come to our place. Leave Dominic with Tammy.
Okay, that was weird. I checked with Tammy, and she was fine with looking after Dominic for a while. So, I climbed the stairs up to the second floor, where our new apartment was. When I opened the door, I didn’t see Trainer anywhere. I walked through our empty living room, past the kitchen, and into the hallway that led to our bedrooms. I automatically headed to our bedroom, assuming that Trainer wanted to take full advantage of some time alone by breaking in our new bed, but as I passed Dominic’s room, I saw that the door was ajar.
“Trainer?” I asked, pushing the door open the rest of the way and stepping into the bedroom.
“What do you think?” Trainer asked, holding his arms out. All around us, Dominic’s room, which had been completely undecorated until now, was covered with insect-related posters. There was a comforter on his bed with pictures of moths and butterflies, and I spotted a new desk on the corner with a box that contained a bug collector kit. “Is it too much?”
My jaw dropped as I looked around, not sure what to say.
“You did all this for Dominic?” I asked, feeling choked up.
“Of course,” he answered simply, as if it were no big deal. “He’s nuts for bugs, and we hadn’t gotten around to decorating in here yet, so I thought I’d surprise him. I ordered it all online, but once I set it up in here, I thought I might have gone overboard.”
“I think it’s amazing,” I swallowed back my tears, but Trainer frowned as he noticed the raw emotion on my face.
“Hey,” he stepped closer and took ahold of my hands. “What’s wrong? How did I upset you?”
