“No,” Trainer said, “the worst part was when I decided to try the back door and had to scale the privacy fence. Not easy even when you’re fully clothed. The glorious end of the adventure was when I landed in Mama Tammy’s rosebush on the other side.”
“Ouch,” I winced. Dominic laughed.
“Okay, very funny,” Trainer said. “Let’s move on to something else.”
“How about the time you almost burned the house down, making grilled cheese?” Tammy suggested with a wide grin.
We all laughed, except for Trainer, but he did look amused. Looking between Tammy and Trainer, I could see the love there. They might not be related by blood, but they were family. A small part of me was jealous, having lost that when my parents died so many years ago. But I didn’t resent Trainer for it. More than anything, I was happy to be here. I hoped that Dominic visited me this often when he was a grown man.
After dinner concluded, Tammy and I cleared the table, sending Trainer and Dominic into the other room to poke around in Tammy’s toy closet, trying to find something that might keep Dominic entertained.
I offered to clean the dishes since Tammy had done all the work of making us a delicious meal, but she wouldn’t have it. Instead, I washed while she dried and put the dishes away. She did pack up the leftovers in Tupperware containers for Trainer to take.
Dominic’s laughter floated in from the other room, my favorite sound in the world. I didn’t know what he and Trainer were up to, but it sounded like they were having fun. Who knew that Trainer was just a big kid at heart?
“He’s a very polite young man,” Tammy commented as she ran her towel over a plate and added it to a stack that was ready to be put away.
“Yeah, I don’t know how I got so lucky as to have such a good kid.”
“You ever think about having more?”
Her words were carefully innocent, but I was no fool. Pulling my hands out of the sink, I dripped water onto the floor but hardly noticed.
“Look, Tammy,” she gave me a stern look, so I corrected myself. “Mama Tammy, Trainer and I haven’t been seeing each other for very long. I mean, we haven’t even…”
Nope, not going to tell her that we haven’t slept together yet.
“We’re still getting to know each other,” I finished.
“Oh, I know,” she said dismissively. “But I’ve never seen Trainer like this. He’s never brought a woman here, never even talked about a woman he was seeing. I’ve known that boy for nearly eighteen years, and you are the very first. You’re special. I promise I’m not picking out China patterns, but I am curious about what you want out of this relationship. Or what you have planned for your future.”
My stomach felt like it was knotted into a fist. I was still married to Jeff, and I wasn’t sure that would ever change. To divorce him, I’d have to tell him where I am. The idea of him locating me was terrifying.
Did I see a future with Trainer? Maybe. But I didn’t think I had the luxury of a normal life anymore. Jeff’s existence was like a guillotine hanging over my head. More kids would mean more danger. Really committing would mean that if Jeff found me, it would be that much harder to leave.
That was my ultimate move, my last resort to keep us safe. I couldn’t give that up, no matter how much I cared for Trainer.
* * *
Tammyand I were once again in the locker room together. I had been thinking a lot lately about my life here in La Playa, and I wanted to stay if I could. That would mean setting up a fake identity for myself and Dominic. I needed to be able to open a checking account, get health insurance, and have a driver’s license if I got pulled over. I had to officially embrace my new identity with a paper trail. The problem was that I had no idea where to get such a thing.
“Hey, Tammy, can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot,” she said distractedly as she pulled on a pair of jeans.
“Before I do, it’s really important that you keep this between us.”
Tammy stopped rifling through her gym bag and took a seat on the bench beside me.
“Okay. Mum’s the word. What do you need?”
“A fake ID.”
Tammy looked confused. “That’s it? You had me worried there for a second.”
“Yes, but it needs to be really good. Do you know where I can get one?”
“Right across the street.”
