When we returned after dinner at a Pizza franchise I was familiar with, I unpacked the car, which was full to bursting with everything that we now owned. I didn’t have time or space in the car to take everything that I would have liked. When Jeff left for work this morning, I had gone through the house, shoving clothing and other valuables into duffle bags and suitcases. I had reduced my entire world to whatever I could fit in the back of a Toyota Corolla. We didn’t even have furniture and would be using air mattresses for a couple of nights until I could have beds delivered.
I made a mental note to get that taken care of as soon as possible. But first things first, I needed to find a job somewhere in this town.
Later, after Dominic had gone to bed, I went into our new bathroom with a box of Chestnut Brown hair dye. The harsh chemical smell made me wrinkle my nose, but I applied the dark goop liberally onto my flaming red hair. Living on the down-low meant that I had to cover up my most distinguishing feature. My scalp was tingling by the time the ten-minute treatment was complete. When I rinsed the dye from my hair, I barely recognized the person staring back at me.
Somehow the darkness of my hair made my skin look even paler. Opening up a plastic container that encased a brand new pair of scissors, I gathered the bulk of my long hair in one hand and made the straightest cut across that I could manage, so that my waves rested on the tops of my shoulders.
I smiled at my reflection. Change could be a good thing, and I was going to embrace this one. Tomorrow was going to be a new beginning.
* * *
Two days later,I still hadn’t found a job, and it was shocking how much I had depleted my stash of cash. I hadn’t had to worry about money for such a long time, since well before I married Jeff, and it didn’t occur to me how expensive everything would be. I tried to be sensible about purchases, buying gently used furniture, and avoiding name-brand food when stocking the refrigerator and pantry, but I was still going to be broke before the end of the month if I didn’t find a source of income immediately.
Jeff’s taunting words seemed to echo in my head as I got back into my car after a disastrous job interview. “You can’t leave. You’re worthless. You’ll never make it on your own. You need me.”
How many times had I heard some version of those words come out of his mouth? He had been trying to break me down emotionally, but I always held onto the belief that he was wrong. Now, I had to wonder… was heright?
One of the problems I was having was that I didn’t have identification. Well, none that I could use. I needed to be paid under the table for now, until I could find a person in this town that made fake IDs. Paying income tax with my real name would be the same as sending Jeff a postcard with my new address written on it. He had resources and money for the best private investigators. I had to stay on my toes to avoid their detection.
The other problem I was running into was that I had no job skills. Jeff was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, inheriting his position on the Board of Directors at the family company. I often wondered if being a trust-fund-baby led him to behave the way that he did. Growing up so spoiled like that must affect someone’s personality. Still, he had more than enough money, and there was no need for me to work. Over time, as Dominic got older, I had toyed with the idea of doing it anyway, just to give myself something - anything - outside of the house that I could call my own. But he was staunchly against it. It didn’t take me long to realize that it was yet another control tactic. He didn’t want me to get a taste of life outside of the home, because that might make me remember what it felt like to be an independent woman.
That was unacceptable to him.
Still, I was clinging to the hope that I could get a job waitressing or something similar. I could probably learn quickly and hopefully, get cash tips. But so far, my can-do attitude had gotten me nowhere.
“I’mborrrred,” Dominic complained from the backseat. I hadn’t had a chance to meet anyone in town or find a babysitter yet, not that I loved the idea of him leaving my side, considering our situation. So, he was tagging along as I looked for a job, which might not be helping my chances of becoming employed.
Was I completely screwed here?
“How about we take an ice cream break?” I asked, deciding that I also needed a break from the disappointment of job hunting.
“Yes!” His shouted reply made me smile.
I remembered seeing a diner on the corner just down the street. Surely they’d have ice cream? After all, what kind of diner didn’t have specialty shakes? Maybe I’d even get lucky, and they’d be hiring. A girl could dream.
The diner, named Tiny’s, was busy for a weekday afternoon. Waitresses wearing shirts with the restaurant’s logo on the front were bustling around the dining area, taking orders and bringing out trays full of food. I directed Dominic to one of the booths lining the wall, settling into the red vinyl seat.
“Welcome to Tiny’s,” a waitress with dark hair appeared beside us, placing two menus down on the table. “First-timers?”
“How did you know?” I asked.
“Just a hunch,” she winked.
“Well, you’re right,” I confirmed. “We just moved to La Playa.”
“Welcome,” the waitress said, flashing a bright smile. “My name is Julie. What brings you to La Playa?”
“Uh…” I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t prepared for a question like this. “J-just needing a change. You know, I wanted to be closer to the ocean.”
That sounded lame, but there was no way to take back the words now. Instead, I plowed ahead, “I’m Erica, and this is my son, Dominic. I was wondering, are you guys hiring?”
Julie shook her head, “Sorry, hun. But, you know what? I heard that the fitness studio was looking for someone to teach a class.”
“What kind of class?” I had never done anything like that before, but maybe I could wing it.
“Yoga, I think.” She shrugged.
Hope flared inside of my chest. I wasveryfamiliar with yoga. I did it daily. In fact, my yoga mat was one of the few things that I made sure to bring with me when I fled my home.
