Who knew that men like this existed?
Eleven
Trainer
I had a shitty day right up until I saw Erica. When I looked up from the punching bag, I was punishing, everything seemed to turn on a dime. The aggression I was wrestling with, born of the helpless feeling I had, in the face of Mama Tammy’s potential illness, shifted into something else. It burned just as hot as anger, but was far more satisfying.
Now, sitting in the backseat of her small car with my arm around her shoulders and her taste still on my tongue, I was relaxed for the first time since I woke up this morning.
“You want to tell me what’s going on with you?” she asked, her voice quiet.
I glanced at the time. Fifteen minutes until she had to pick up Dominic. We needed to part ways soon.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You remember when I told you about Mama Tammy?”
“Your foster mom? Yeah, I remember.”
“She had a biopsy done today. I took her.”
“A biopsy?”
“I guess she has a lump. The doctor isn’t sure if it’s something to worry about, so he took a piece to test.”
Erica lifted her head off my chest, looking into my face with her brow furrowed. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” I was worried as hell, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it, even with her. “It’s a bad deal, and I can’t do shit about it except wait to hear some news.”
“It bothers you not having someone or something to fight.” It wasn’t a question. We had known each other for such a short period of time, but she already knew me well.
I grunted.
“Okay, Mr. Tough Guy. I get it. We don’t have to talk about it. In fact,” she checked her phone for the time. “I need to get going.”
I clenched my jaw, but didn’t argue. I got it, she had to get her kid. But a part of me wanted to go with her. To maybe get to know the boy because he was so important to her, and I might want to be a lasting part of her life.
But those thoughts scared me.
I’d done the solo thing for most of my life, not always by choice. Sure, I had the Outlaw Souls, but they were all tough as nails, people that I didn’t have to worry about. Then, there was Mama Tammy. Look at how the idea of her having cancer was tearing me up, and I didn’t even know if it was true yet. Did I really want to go further into this thing with Erica, knowing that I’d have the added weight of concern for her and Dominic on my shoulders? Was the burden of that worth the payoff? Looking into her face, I wanted to say yes, but I was also smart enough to know that caring came with risk to the heart.
I shook my head at myself. When did I become such a chicken shit?
Almost to prove to myself that I wasn’t, I leaned forward and pressed a quick, hard kiss to Erica’s mouth. She gave as good as she got, and I broke it off too soon. It was never enough with her. We both got out of the car.
“Call me. Or text. Whatever.” She smiled as she pulled her car door open. “But next time we get together, it’s your turn.”
Fuck.
“Can’t wait,” I said honestly. The very thought of her plump lips wrapped around my cock was enough to drive me mad.
I stood back from the car and watched her drive away before walking around the building to where my bike was parked. I didn’t expect these conflicting feelings. Hadn’t I just been lamenting my jealousy of people I knew in good, lasting relationships? I should be nothing but happy to have found a woman I might want that with. Instead, I was playing out hypotheticals in my head.
What if she got sick or hurt? What if she lost interest in me?
Like my mom did.
Damn it.I needed a drink.
Luckily, there was a pretty great bar right across the street.
