Only I had a sneaking suspicion that I was the one telling lies now.
Twenty-Four
Claire
I wished more than anything that I was the type of girl who could heal by eating her weight in chocolate and sobbing over a romantic comedy. Or a documentary about serial killers. I wasn’t picky about what I watched while consuming chocolate, as long as it worked to distract me.
But that wasn’t me.
Wallowing had never been my style. I had to take action. I could only heal if I stayed in motion. Maybe it wasn’t healing. Maybe it was just forgetting. I didn’t care. I just needed to move.
So I finally got up off the floor. I yanked on jeans and a T-shirt. I picked up my notebook from where Pin had slammed it on the table, and I held it in my hands. There were still two missing teenagers. There was still a drug ring. I still had to solve this investigation. It was all I had left.
Was it a fair trade? Was losing Pin worth this case?
“No,” I whispered.
I shook my head and sat down on my couch. I couldn’t think like that. I couldn’t think about Pin or myself at all. The only way I could look at this investigation was if I cut myself completely out of it. I had to eradicate all my personal feelings and all my pain from the case.
Every moment I spent with Pin that wasn’t somehow connected to this investigation, I had to push aside. Which meant most of the time with Pin had to be forgotten. When it came down to it, we really hadn’t spent that much time thinking about Outlaw Souls. We had spent most of our time together sharing stories about ourselves, not to mention having passionate sex.
That had to be forgotten too. Pin could call me a whore all he wanted, but I knew that I had not been thinking about my job or the investigation at all when we had been intimate.
I gritted my teeth and shut my eyes. No more thoughts about me. I had to erase myself. I wondered if maybe I should have taken up meditation years ago to prepare for this moment. It was too late now. All I had was willpower, and that was going to have to be enough.
I opened my eyes and flipped open the notebook.
“The facts,” I muttered to myself. “Just the facts.”
Zoe had been dating a biker. Hector had been into bikes. They both ran away three months ago.
Outlaw Souls was a biker club, but they didn’t deal drugs. At least most of them didn’t, I was sure of that. I could not rule out the possibility that they had a few rogue members. As a whole though, they weren’t that kind of club. Pin had told me that once, early on. But that statement implied that some biker clubswerethat kind of club.
I gasped as I thought back to this morning. He had said something – what was it? I didn’t want to think about this morning. I didn’t want to be reduced to a sobbing mess again. But he had said something, right after he discovered the notebook.
It came back to me in a flash: “We didn’t take anyone, we would never. We’re not –”
And then he had said a name. He had been speaking so fast, and I had been so upset because he wasn’t listening to me. And then right after he had accused me of being bad at my job, but I couldn’t think of that.
It had been a name, I was certain. But it hadn’t sounded familiar to my ears.
Las Balas.
It had been Spanish, I realized. I had lived in Southern California long enough to recognize that at least, but I had no idea what it meant. I leapt off the couch and ran to grab my computer from my desk. I opened it and typed the words into my search engine to find a translation.
The bullets.
That did sound familiar. Where had I heard that before? Had Pin mentioned it? I didn’t think he had ever said something about bullets or guns. I would have noticed if he had because I was listening for that kind of language.
But I had heard it. I ran through my memories, trying to fast forward the more painful ones, until I paused at the barbecue. I had been in the bathroom, frustrated because nothing was making sense. I ran into Pin (fast forward through that), and then we had walked back out and seen Moves.
Who was leaving. Because there were some bullets that needed to be taken care of. Or something along those lines.
Had he said anything else? He had been tense, I remember, the lines of his face hardened. Pin had lowered his voice as well, but hadn’t felt the need to discuss it at length. Instead, Pin had sat down with me and told me… other things that I didn’t want to think about.
Bullets. Las Balas. The Outlaw Souls werenotlike Las Balas.
Another biker club. I could have slapped myself. Of course, I had considered that possibility, but all the parents kept chirping up with Outlaw Souls. But that could have been because that was the only biker club they had even heard of.
