I drew her closer with my arm. Serenity descended on me like a heated comforter. “Of course.”
“It’s just last time you left,” Claire said.
She wasn’t whining or accusing. She just wanted to know where we stood. She was confirming that things had changed.
“I’m not going to leave tonight.” I wasn’t going to even let go of her for many hours.
First of all, because I fully intended to fuck her again, once we had both recovered. I was already dreaming up new positions.
Second, I knew it was going to be hard to sleep away from her, this night and in the future. I had gotten a taste of what it felt like to be with her sexually. I knew how it felt for her to sleep curled up against me. I was already addicted to her.
Claire let out a little sigh of contentment and nestled her head even closer to my neck.
“But if you sleep naked like this, you do know I won’t be able to resist, right?” I asked.
Claire placed one hand on my lower stomach, dangerously close to my crotch. “Oh, I’m counting on it.”
With a grin, I reached up to lift her chin, and I kissed her, once more. I was never going to be able to stop kissing her. I couldn’t stop touching her.
And the most shocking part: I didn’t even want to try and stop.
Twenty
Claire
I don’t often admit to making mistakes, but that’s because I don’t often mess up. When I do commit an error, though, I like to think I can own up to it.
I was positive I had made a mistake with Pin. I had thought I could use him for the case and then discard him. I had thought my attraction was run-of-the-mill lust, easily forgotten in a week or so.
I was wrong. I was not going to forget this night any time soon.
I couldn’t say when things had gotten more intense, but they had. Somewhere between the Chinese food and the barbecue, our relationship had taken a turn. It had gone from light and casual, no strings attached, to something far heavier.
It was strange though, I didn’t feel oppressed by the weight. In the past, when boyfriends made serious confessions or declared their emotions, I always felt burdened, as if now I had to lug around the weight of their feelings in a back around my neck.
I didn’t feel that way with Pin. I felt safe with his emotions. I was touched that he cared about me to break his old habits, and I found that I wanted to do the same for him.
It didn’t hurt that he was amazing in bed. His every touch sent flames of want rippling across my body. Even now, laying against him in the post-sex cuddling position, I was already wondering when he would be up for another round.
Before I could give in to drowning myself in the feeling of being with him, I rolled onto my back. He was dozing a bit, but he kept his solid arm across my torso. I had to think a few things through. The twinge of guilt I felt before the barbecue over using Pin had grown into a growling beast, clawing at the lining of my stomach.
I stared at the ceiling and asked myself if it was time to come clean. To my surprise, the answer was a definitive yes. There was no other option. I could not continue to lie to him. I cared about him too much.
Besides, he had been totally honest with me tonight. I had responded with some honesty, but not total honesty. I wanted to actually match him. I wanted to tell the truth. But how would he react?
I glanced over at him, my breath catching at the way his dark eyelashes brushed his cheeks with shadowy kisses. I didn’t want to lose him. I wanted him to come back and share my bed and take me on more rides. I wouldn’t get bored of him, and I would never hurt him.
Or I would never hurt him any more than I already had.
It was a frightening realization that I might not make it out of this with him. He might walk away and not return. It had taken a lot for him to let down his walls with me. I could tell when he was explaining his distrust of relationships.
I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to say that I hadn’t cheated on him. I would never do that. I had only lied to him. Just a little. Not even a lie really. I had just hung out with him in the hopes to uncover a drug ring within his beloved biker club.
Squeezed my eyes shut, I wondered if that was that worse than cheating? Possibly. I guess it didn’t matter which was worse. What mattered was that I had done it.
As I heaved a sigh, Pin stirred beside me and inched his hand up towards my breast. I turned to him and he kissed me, his eyes blinking out of their slumber. I melted into the kiss, and soon we were wrapped together again to the point I couldn’t tell where I ended and he began.
He touched me again, gently easing me back into the land of pleasure, where I couldn’t think about my sins. Where I could only feel his hands and lips on me.
