Her name was Sara Garcia, and she made my teenage heart stop dead in its tracks. She had big brown eyes, always wore those little cut-off jean shorts that high school girls wore, and had the loudest laugh. I think it was her laugh that really made me fall for her. I was so miserable that I was desperate to be around some joy. I wanted just a fraction of Sara’s happiness.
And for a while, I had that happiness. I had all the arrogance of youth, walking down the hallways hand-in-hand with Sara and thinking I had it all figured out.
I cringe when I look back at how idiotic I was. I thought every date with Sara was the best date ever. When we went to the movies and I snuck my arm around her, it was the best evening of my life. Until a week later, when we made out for hours on her bed. We did it all together. We went to school dances and I watched her during her cheerleading practices. After a few months of dating, we took each other’s virginities.
I thought she was the one. My mom had made mistakes in love, but not me. I had found someone I could trust. Someone who would never hurt me.
Yeah. I was wrong.
It happened right after our six month anniversary, and yes, it killed me that I kept track of shit like that.
There was a big house party hosted by one of Sara’s friends one Friday. I had to work pretty late at my busboy job, but we agreed to meet at the party.
I walked in around eleven, and the first person I ran into was this girl Sara knew. I didn’t even know her very well, but I could tell right away something was off. I asked her where Sara was, and if pity had an odor, that girl would have been reeking. I could see in her eyes, in the way she opened her mouth but didn’t speak, that wherever Sara was, it was not gonna make me feel good.
I wish I had just walked away, but instead, like the stubborn fool I was, I went looking for Sara. I found her in one of the bedrooms, buck naked with another guy.
For a second, I thought she was drunk and he had taken advantage. I was ready to beat the shit out of him for dragging my wasted girl to that bed.
But then Sara looked up. She was not drunk. She was clear-eyed and clearly enjoying it. When she saw me, she had the decency to stop and pull a bed sheet around her chest. The other guy made a quick exit, but took the time to toss me a little smirk and a “Sorry, man.”
Sara said what they always say. She just got carried away. She thought I was such a great guy, but things had happened so fast, and she wasn’t perfect.
And I just stood there with my heart breaking in two.
I wasn’t mad at her though. I was angry at myself. Because I should have known better. How many times had I seen my mom throw herself into a relationship with a guy who didn’t care enough to be loyal?
And I couldn’t be mad at Sara. She was just acting on human nature.
So I decided the next day that my heart wasn’t broken. Love was a hallucination. Love never lasted, and people were always going to act on their own self-interests. Which meant that something as fake as love wasn’t going to stop someone from cheating.
In a way, I was grateful for Sara. I should have learned earlier, but at least I learned. After that, things really did get better. I discovered bikes and the club and my career. I enjoyed plenty of women, but I steered clear from all the long-term nonsense.
And I never got hurt or humiliated again.
But somehow, being around my mom made me forget all that. It made me feel young and stupid again. She’d kept pestering me about why Sara and I broke up, so I ended up telling her what’d happened. My mother had actually patted me on the shoulder and told me that I couldn’t give up. The right girl was out there, I just had to keep trying.
I wanted to tell my mom that if trying to find Mr. Right was what she was doing, then I wanted no part of that. But I didn’t say that out loud. My mom had been through enough shit. Most of it of her own making, but I never could bring myself to say anything harsh to her.
I pulled up at the auto shop. I knew that a scowl was etched on my face, but it wasn’t my fault that I had woken up to annoying thoughts and memories.
It was Claire’s fault. Something about her adorable snub little nose made me think of relationships and how rotten most of them turned out to be. I needed to stop thinking about her nose being adorable.
Raul Lopez, our road captain, was loitering inside, but no one else was around.
“Where is everyone?” I asked.
“Ryder and Moves had to split,” Raul said. “Bit of trouble on the other side of town.”
I raised my brows.
“Las Balas shit,” Raul said. “What else?”
“They need back-up?” I asked, grimacing.
“Nah,” Raul said. “I think they just wanted to scare one of the guys who was dealing coke in our territory the other night. Nothing major.”
I nodded. It looked like the calm before the storm was starting to give way to drops of rain.
