* * *
“It’s fucking cold in here,”Rocky said before laughing. “But then, that’s why they call it a freezer, right?” She walked out of the huge room that was filled with ice cream, frozen meats, and other things that needed to stay frozen.
I must have still seemed dazed after that strange encounter with Ryder because Rocky said, “I think it’s time for your fifteen. Let’s ask Julie if we can take them together, since it’s a little slow right now.”
I didn’t really want to talk to her during my break. I needed some time to process what had just happened to me. I was no virgin. I’d dated some guys in college. I’d even gone skiing with Caldwell Blacktone’s family.
But this was different. This was something I’d never felt before in my life. It made everything else pale in comparison.
What the hell just happened to me?
* * *
Five minuteslater we were sitting in Rocky’s truck and she was smoking and talking like I was some kind of friend, not a coworker she just met three hours ago.
Evidently she’d been kicked out of high school and sent to a continuation school that she also was asked to leave. She did a short stint in juvie for shoplifting, but the record had been sealed, which was why she was able to get this job.
“Trouble has a bad habit of finding me wherever I go,” she said, offering me a drag of her cigarette.
Shaking my head no, I asked, “Why is that?” I wasn’t trying to be a therapist, but my guess was that trouble didn’t find her; she found it.
“I don’t know. You know that guy earlier? The one with the whipped cream kid? He’s trouble with a capital T. We had a thing last year, but I knew he was a problem so I got out of it as soon as I could.” She flicked the cigarette butt out the window and twisted open the top to the Dr. Pepper she’d brought with her.
Rocky had slept with Ryder? That was interesting. “What kind of problem?” I asked. I couldn’t get my brain aroundhimwithher.
“He’s the kind of guy who seems like a decent guy on the outside…took his kid sister in when their parents were killed by a drunk driver. Helps old people and animals. Shit like that. But underneath it, he’s a cold-blooded killer. Other guys get drunk and sloppy. Not Ryder. Everything he does is calculated and for his own benefit. I figured that out real quick and now I stay away from him.”
My eyes gazed out the window and I could see the biker bar across the street. Chalupa and the guys were pulling in and I could see them laughing and patting each other on the back as they walked inside.
Maybe I ought to go and check out this biker bar myself…you know…for research.
Seven
Ryder
I was sitting in my usual seat in the back corner of the Blue Dog. It was a normal day, with the regulars sitting at the bar, the day bartender Connie serving drinks, and some talk show on the TV overhead. The pool tables were empty, but by the end of the night, there would probably be a lively game going on. Chalupa and Dog had an ongoing battle and they kept winning back the same twenty bucks from each other every week. Just a regular day at the bar.
Why, then, was my mind still across the street at Tiny’s? Thinking about that waitress with the long blonde hair, wanting to grab that ponytail and crush those lips with my mouth…
What the hell was wrong with me?
I’d been in love exactly once. It was before my folks had been killed and it was my senior year in high school. It was one of those storybook first love kind of romances. We met in English class, wrote each other poetry, went to the carnival and made out on top of the Ferris Wheel. She was my first sexual experience and I was hers. It was supposed to last forever.
I had a girlfriend, I was getting ready to go off to college and start my own life. When the accident happened, though, everything changed. I got really angry. Not just angry—I was filled with so much fucking rage that I took it out on everyone around me.
My rage got the best of me and I lost the job, lost the girlfriend, and almost ended up on the streets with a little sister to support.
That’s when I met Padre. He ran the auto shop and gave me a job, a place to live, and eventually the chance to prospect for Outlaw Souls. He taught me how to fight, how to shoot, and how to kill. If it weren’t for him, I don’t know what would have happened to me.
But love? Love wasn’t in the cards for me again. My life was no life for a woman. I’d seen what happened to guys—and Swole—who tried to balance being in a relationship with being in the club. It didn’t work out for long. You ended up having to choose one or the other. Tiny chose his wife and that’s how he ended up opening the diner. My loyalty was to Outlaw Souls and Padre, not some woman.
Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t exactly a monk. When the urge struck, I could easily find women to be with. There were plenty of women who were happy, like that waitress Rocky, though they always wanted more than I could give them. So we’d fuck around for a few weeks and then I’d break it off. No sense getting anybody hurt. I didn’t feel for them, and as soon as they started to have feelings for me it was time to end it.
This thing with Paige, though. That was different. Scary different. My body wasn't cooperating with me, and that could be very dangerous for everyone. It was best for everyone that I just steer clear of her.
A ray of yellow light came in the room as the front door opened.
“Padre,” Connie said as his lumbering shadow came into the room. “Long time no see. You want the usual?”
