“Then what am I supposed to think, Cassie? You weren’t answering my calls and texts. When the police came to me—”
“They came to you?”
We’re stopped at a red light and Darren turns to me. “Of course they came to me. Your husband died during your honeymoon right after you left him. Do you realize how suspicious that made you look?”
“What did you tell them?”
A car honks behind us. The light has turned green. Darren keeps driving. “Cassie, what happened in that hotel room?”
“What did you tell them?” I say, more forcefully this time.
Darren takes a deep breath. “Ididn’ttell them what you said. Our conversation on the phone that night. I–I can’t be involved in anything like that.”
“Like what?”
He jams his fist against the steering wheel. “Man, I don’t know, Cassie. Something happened. It doesn’t matter what you say. Something messed up went on between you two, and I want no part of it.”
I can’t believe this. I went through hell to get Darren back. Now we can finally be together, and all he cares about is preserving his flawless reputation. “I was leaving him to be with you, Darren. We’re good now. Everything is fine.”
“Nothing is fine. Your husband is dead. And you don’t—”
I put my hand on his thigh. “And I don’t love him. I loveyou. It was always you. And now—”
“And now, nothing.”
“We can be together,” I say, hating the pleading tone in my voice. He shakes his head. “Darren?”
A moment passes. What is wrong with him to only want me when he can’t have me? He has no idea what I did for him. Forus.
“I’m taking you home,” he says.
“We’ll wait a few weeks. Or a few months, if you want to. It’ll all blow over soon.”
But it’s like he’s not listening. He does a U-turn at the next intersection and we drive all the way back in silence. The blue sky is so bright it makes my eyes sting. And then Darren doesn’t actually take me home. He parks two blocks away, down a quiet street.
“What are you doing?” I say, turning to face him. I try to grab his hand, but he won’t let me.
“We can’t be seen together.”
“Darren, everything is fine. Wecanbe together. We will be.”
“No, we won’t. I can’t.” He’s breathing heavily now. “Are you even sad?”
It takes me a moment to understand what he’s asking. “Of course I’m sad. I never wanted any of this to happen.”
“Whathappened, Cassie? Please tell me.” His tone is urgent.
For a moment I almost do. Because what’s the alternative? Am I going to keep this secret for the rest of our lives? The investigation is over. I’m safe. But I know he can’t hear the truth, not even a fraction of it, so instead I lean over. I did all of this to be with him. I did itforhim. But he’ll never understand.
When I kiss him, he doesn’t pull back. Not at first anyway. It’s gentle, the way Darren has always kissed.
“I’m sorry, no.” He says, pushing me away.
“Darren…” I lean forward again, but this time he jerks back.
“I can’t. Please, get out of the car.” I don’t. “Cassie, I need you to get out of the car. Forget what I said. I don’t want to know what happened. Get out of the car, please. Get out of my life. I don’t care what you did to him. You and I are over. Forever.”
Maybe for the first time, I believe him.
