Big Sue
Roger that.
Oh, God.They’re right. So, that’s that sorted. Matteo will not be impressed when he reads all this chat. Luke was not very gracious last night when Matteo offered to frogmarch him round to Tash and Sister Kevin’s room, so I ended up going just to keep the peace. But when we got to their room, they were out. Then we tried the next babysitters on the list, Big Sue and Big Mand, and they were also out. The only person who picked up their phone was Liberty, who sounded so upset over Hank Junior that Matteo and I didn’t have the heart to make her suffer Luke for the rest of the night, so we ended up bringing him back to our suite where he crashed out on the sofa. By that time it was 4a.m., and we were all shattered, and our wedding night was ruined.
So much for the babysitting schedule.
* * *
‘So, this is fun,’ says Liam in a terrified voice as we all gather in the Hello Helicopter hut for a safety briefing delivered by our helicopter pilots.
‘We’ll be taking off at zero nine hundred hours,’ one of the pilots says. ‘In answer to your… many questions, make sure your wigs and Stetsons are secure. There’s nothing we can do if things fly off. No, there are no parachutes on board. No, there is no free bar service. And no, I’ve never crashed a helicopter before.’
Everyone sags with relief.
‘Just a light aircraft. But to be fair to the old girl, we did all survive. Well, nearly all of us.’ The pilot gazes off into the middle distance, deep in thought. It’s then I notice he only has one arm.
Gah!
Matteo and I exchange a worried glance. Things have been strained because of Luke and the lack of sleep and the lack of respect shown by the Dollz for not sticking to the agreed babysitting plan and, of course, the ruined wedding night. Thankfully, the pilots split the group in half and Luke is put in with Ged, Liam, Big Mand and Big Sue. Cherry has had to duck out because she’s afraid of flying while preggers. She says she’s already starting to show. She will stay in The Venetian and eat freshly baked cookies. Matteo climbs in after me and Liberty, who is wiped out, while Tash and Sister Kevin sit up front.
‘This is like a dream come true,’ he says. ‘I never thought I’d get to do this.’ He beams at Tash. ‘You’re truly amazing.’
‘I know,’ she says, giving him a bashful flick of her lashes as she pats his leg.
Before we know it, we are lifting off the ground. The noise of the rotors is deafening. We can only hear the sound of the pilot in our ears as he gives us a running commentary on what we are about to see below. He has had to tell Tash and Sister Kevin several times, before take-off, to stop mauling each other’s faces off. He is finding it very distracting, and it is causing some concern for the rest of us. We would prefer the pilot to keep his eyes on the skies and not on Sister Kevin’s hand sliding up and down Tash’s thigh.
We focus on the view and our jaws drop as the helicopter flies over Las Vegas. We see all of the iconic features and grand hotels haphazardly clumped together in a blaze of spectacular colour. The city is huge but when we reach the outer rim and see the vast desert, we realise how dwarfed it is in comparison, and how isolated. We see the main highway heading out of the city, busy with cars. It is breathtaking. I’ve never seen anything like this in my life. Matteo and I are huddled as close as you can get. We all keep making eye contact and pointing at stuff, trying to relay how amazing the sight is, but the underlying insanity of yesterday’s events is weighing heavily on us and we all look shattered. I’m trying to keep a smile on my face for everyone’s sake and it is making my cheeks ache.
When we land, I realise that the real journey is only just beginning. This is my first day as Matteo’s wife. He is my husband. Is this the beginning of something or the end?
Big Mand and Big Sue have wandered hand in hand over to the edge of the canyon further down from us with Tash and Sister Kevin. While Ged and Liam are busy doing selfies, Matteo pulls me to the edge away from the group.
‘Are you okay?’ he asks me.
‘Not really, no,’ I say truthfully. ‘I’m gutted that between Birdie and Luke, we didn’t get to… you know.’ I feel the heat rise to my cheeks. Matteo cups my face.
‘I’m working on it.’ He’s just about to kiss me when we are interrupted by the pilot yelling for us to gather round.
He introduces us to our tour guide for the day, Bran. The day is very structured, and it is crucial we stick to the plan.
Good luck with that.
‘We’ll start with the Sky Walk, on the Southern Rim.’
A small snigger escapes from Liberty. She recovered from her huge fainting session and sprained ankle debacle and when she realised that she’d missed her date with Hank and that she’d have no way of contacting him, she fell into a deep sleep until this morning. She has woken looking fresh and fabulous.
‘Rimming isn’t for everyone,’ Bran warns.
Tash giggles. ‘Speak for yourself.’
‘Ma’am. If you don’t mind, the Rim is quite a dangerous albeit spectacular place, and you don’t want to ruin the experience for yourself or others.’
‘Amen,’ barks Sister Kevin, and none of us can hold the guffaws in any longer.
We are going to bethatgroup.
Bran rolls his eyes, the humour passing him by, or maybe he has heard the jokes a million times before. ‘If anyone has a fear of rimming, DO NOT be sick over the edge. DO NOT try to go back the way you came. Simply continue in the same direction until you are back on solid ground.’
