‘Like what?’ Matteo shrugs his shoulders.
We’re having a marital spat.An actual marital spat.Less than ten minutes in.
‘Surely you can get it annulled if you both hate the idea so much, babes,’ says Cherry. ‘Didn’t Britney Spears do something similar with a few of her husbands?’
‘Is that what you want?’ I ask Matteo, my voice paper-thin.
‘Is that whatyouwant?’ Matteo says, glaring at me.
‘For God’s sake. We’ll all go up to the room together and sort the MO out from there,’ barks Big Sue, heaving Liberty up from the ground. ‘Mandeep, could you grab her legs, please?’
‘Here, let me help,’ Matteo says, taking Liberty from them and flipping her easily over his shoulder before marching towards the lifts.
As we walk solemnly along, I notice Matteo is keeping his distance, deep in thought.
We all scamper after him, tourists parting like a biblical sea to let us through.
Once we’re in the lift, we have the delight of the mirrored wall casting a giant well-lit reflection. Big Mand and Big Sue are still in their Barbie outfits and wigs. I’ve only just noticed that Cherry is wearing silk pyjamas with cherries printed all over them. Matteo has Liberty slung over his shoulder like a passed-out drunk, her arms and hair hanging down. Ged and Liam are in a state of panic, clutching at each other. And there’s me. My beautiful make-up running down my upset face. My hair dishevelled while my wedding dress remains pristine and gorgeous in stark contrast. I catch sight of my locket hanging round my neck. What would my mother make of all of this? Good job she’s inside the locket and can’t see my eyes full of tears and my lip wobbling. What a wedding party.
The lift stops several times, and each time people hesitate when they get an eyeful of us and say they’ll wait for the next one.
My gaze is drawn to my husband.My husband.Matteo has not taken his eyes off his shoes, the panel of buttons, the ceiling, since we got in the lift. It’s as though he is searching for a way to fix this mess. Honestly, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘Nice dress, Connie,’ says Cherry, quietly. ‘Really pretty.’
‘Yeah, babes,’ says Big Mand. ‘You look lovely.’
‘You make a gorgeous bride, babe,’ adds Big Sue. ‘Don’t worry. We’ll get all of this sorted, Big Guy.’
Matteo blinks slowly. His face softens as he tilts his head, waiting to see how I’ll react.
Big Guy. I’m going to be saddled with that unflattering moniker forever.
I don’t know what it is, but it causes me to snort. I remain staring at the group through the mirror. We look a right clip. Big Sue catches my eye, causing me to smile, then I snort again.
Big Mand starts laughing. ‘You couldn’t make this shit up, could you?’
‘At least we got to see you get married,’ says Ged, calmly. ‘Even if it wasn’t the full Disney princess wedding we were after.’ He squeezes Liam’s hand and raises a smile.
I feel an instant sense of relief.
‘No. No. This is exactly how I pictured my dream wedding,’ I say to the mirror. ‘My husband carrying another woman over his shoulder. My friends in tears, my work colleague having lost a million dollars and no doubt blaming me, and a possible prison sentence hanging over us. All we need now is for the lift to break down, or for Hank Junior to be standing outside when the doors open.’
Matteo’s mouth curves slightly as he looks me dead in the eye. ‘Well, you wanted a bonkers story to tell the grandkids.’
I take a beat to stare back at him.
He’s letting me know we can get past this. In our very short time together, I have tested his boundaries on multiple occasions and each time he has come through for me.
I reach out to squeeze his hand. Besides, he’s too handsome to stay mad at. ‘Best strap in then,’ I say, exhaling loudly. ‘Because I doubt we’ll have a shortage of those to tell.’
‘And in her defence, she…’ says Ged, looking at me through the mirror. I wait for him to say something encouraging to Matteo. Something to give him hope that a life with me won’t be one long, fruitless string of fraught and embarrassing situations. His smile slips. ‘No, sorry. I took off there without a place to land.’
Matteo rolls his eyes and, within seconds, we’re all howling with crazed laughter. And then it comes to me.
The mother of all ideas.
‘I’ve got it.’ It seems easier to keep talking to the group through the mirror. ‘The murder hasn’t happened yet. If we keep Luke close to us, then Hank Junior can’t get to him.’
