‘Nope. You young ’uns ticked this box.’ Elvis shows me and Matteo the box that we ticked. ‘And you signed right here.’
Fuck me.
‘Yeah,’ chimes Cherry, poking her head between us to speedily read the page. ‘You’re married alright. That’s an official document and those signatures give this overweight Elvis lookalike the authority to marry you.’
‘Viva Las Vegas and congratulations on your matrimonial life together,’ says Elvis, scurrying away. ‘I have another happy couple to officiate in five minutes.’
He leaves us standing there. Facing everyone. I turn to Matteo. He looks stunned.
Elvis has left the building.
‘You’re married!’ shrieks Liam. ‘You got married without us! You are ourbest woman. The person we trust most in the whole world. Theonlyperson we asked. We wanted you to play the biggest part inourwedding because you are ourfamily. Apparently, you don’t feel the same.’ He bursts into tears.
Then Ged gives me a desolate look, and he also bursts into tears.
Then I burst into tears.
Then Matteo yells, ‘What the fuck is happening here?’
Then Cherry tells him off.
Then Birdie screams that she’ll never work with Matteo ever again.
‘And you can fuck off as well, pet,’ Cherry tells her in between biting off chunks of her sugar rope. ‘Go on, you miserable cow. Sling yer hook.’
Birdie is fuming and releases a tirade of what we all presume are French expletives at Matteo, before she whips her coral-coloured hair violently over her shoulder and stamps away on her skinny legs.
Matteo immediately stiffens beside me. This scenario is escalating unnecessarily.
Liberty, Tash and Sister Kevin are the only ones to find it hilariously funny.
‘I love weddings,’ says Sister Kevin, grinning down at Tash.
‘Congratulations, Big Guy,’ says Big Sue, patting me woefully on the back.
‘Yeah, Big Guy,’ says Liberty, trying her best not to howl with laughter. ‘Congratulations. I hope you’ll both be very happy.’ She attempts to give me a hug but I’m too upset to respond. Instead, she leans in. ‘Don’t worry. I’m just joking. We’ll fix this, Connie, babes. We’ll take care of it. I promise.’
‘Take care of it.’ Cherry inhales sharply. ‘Guys. I’ve just remembered something.’ She turns to Liberty. ‘You sound just like Hank Junior.’
Oh, God.
My head snaps up. ‘Where is Hank Junior?’ I ask suddenly.
Liberty shrugs. ‘He’s gone to take care of something, he said.’
‘He’s gone totake careof something?’ I dart a look at Matteo.
‘Uh-huh,’ Liberty says. ‘Why?’
Cherry presses her fingers to her temples. ‘I overheard him on the phone last night in the club. Said he was making a hit for someone. And that he was taking care of it. Hang on. Where did I get this?’ Cherry says, distracted by the rope she’s been chewing the whole time. ‘What even is it?’
‘Where did he say he was going?’ Matteo asks Liberty, a look of incredulity washing over him.
‘He didn’t say,’ Liberty says.
‘Fucking hell. I can’t believe this is happening!’ Matteo drags his hands slowly down his face. It seems as though we’ve found his tipping point. To be fair, it is way higher than mine.
How could I get so swept up in everything that I forgot that Liberty put an accidental hit out on Luke?
