I text Matteo to let him know I’m on my way, pick up my beaded purse and close the door behind me. It feels like a dream as I hitch up the skirts of my wedding dress to the ankle and walk along the carpeted corridors as people zigzag out of my way, no one batting an eyelid at the matrimonial attire. By the time I reach the floor with the canal and gondolas on, I have passed four brides already. I am not even out of place; there are so many people coming and going here.
I make my way to the gondola station, nervous excitement providing a spring in each step, as the charm of Venice, with its breathtaking architecture and stone-clad shopfronts, surrounds me. The ceiling is an almost cloudless blue sky, as though it is a bright sunny day in bustling St Mark’s Square.
Matteo is waiting for me. He is standing deep in conversation with Elvis Presley who is wearing bell-bottom white trousers lined with colourful rhinestones up the sides. He has a matching blazer, dark oversized sunglasses, thick black sideburns and hair slicked back into a perfect pompadour. He’s certainly committed.
A giggle escapes my lips. I can’t believe I’m doing this. It’s insane. It’s thrilling. It’s exactly what my soul is crying out to do. I’m finally living an adventurous, messy, unpredictable life. And it’s everything I dreamed it would be, and so much more.
The icing on the cake is the way Matteo’s eyes light up when he catches sight of me walking towards him. He almost drops the clipboard that he’s holding. Even Elvis is grinning broadly.
‘Why, you’ve caught yourself a mighty fine filly, if I say so myself, ah-har-ha,’ Elvis drawls in a thick Southern accent. He obviously never comes out of character. ‘Are you two sweethearts excited? This is a mighty fine special day.’
I nod politely but I just can’t take my eyes from Matteo. It seems as though he has a thousand things he wants to say but is lost for words. He reaches for my hand, and that dreamy smile is all I need. ‘You look… stunning.’
‘Back at you,’ I say, leaning in close. I can practically feel the sparkles bursting from my eyes.
Elvis takes the clipboard from Matteo and hands it to me. ‘Just tick the box and sign on the dotted line and we’ll get your wedding vows underway.’
I can barely hold the pen for nerves, never mind read what I’m signing.
‘You two lovebirds make a handsome couple, that’s for sure,’ Elvis is saying as he holds my bouquet for me. ‘You seem perfect together. Have you been together long?’
Ah. Awkward.
‘No. Not long,’ says Matteo.
‘You sure give the impression that you have a happy life together.’ He takes the clipboard from me, hands back the flowers and leads us to a spectacular gondola, all white with elaborate gold swirls and edging. The seats are a deep plum colour. There’s a gondolier wearing a striped T-shirt, a boater hat, red neckerchief and a matching cummerbund.
Matteo takes my hand and helps me climb down onto it, he follows, and lastly Elvis climbs in and sits opposite. We take our seats and Matteo shuffles closer to me as gentle romantic music begins to play. The gondolier croons along as he pushes us away from the jetty and onto the canal.
‘I can’t believe we’re doing this.’ Matteo’s face is lit up. ‘It’s insane,’ he whispers. He holds both my hands in his as we press even closer together.
‘It’s just another bonkers story to tell the grandkids,’ I quip.
Elvis winks at us. ‘Ready?’
We both nod nervously. It feels so real.
‘Now, not only is this little lady adorable, she’s happy,’ he says to Matteo. ‘And it’s your job to keep her that way for the rest of your days. Are you up to it, young fella?’
‘Yes. I am.’
‘Well, alright! Today is all about a promise. A promise to cherish one another, no matter what comes your way, with a love that’s tender and true. A promise to stay honest and faithful when times get hard and confusing, ’cause they certainly will. And a promise to remember that any place is paradise, as long as you’re together.’ Elvis raises one of his thick black eyebrows and curls his lip as he gives us a piercing look. ‘Today is about celebrating the special bond you two share. If you keep loving each other the way you’ve been loving each other, that bond is bound to last forever. Now, son, face your bride and… I see you’re doing it already. That’s a good sign.’
He peruses the clipboard where we have written our names.
‘Are you, Xavier Matteo George…’ Elvis tilts his head and checks with Matteo before continuing.
I totally forgot Matteo has the longest name in recorded history.
‘…Marie-Carmen Torrado Grande…’ Elvis pauses for breath. ‘…ready to take Constance Emily Cooper as your wife?’
‘I am,’ says Matteo, smiling.
‘Then repeat after me. I promise to never step on your blue suede shoes. Or treat you like a fool. I promise to love you tender, and never return to sender. Like the sweet song of a choir. You light my morning sky with burning love. I’m just a hunk, a hunk of burning love for you.’
Matteo can barely stop chuckling as he obediently repeats every phrase while trying to gaze earnestly into my eyes.
Elvis is clearly enjoying himself too. When it’s my turn, I can barely keep a straight face.
