‘It’s jet lag,’ says Liberty, yawning. ‘I knew we should have slept on the way over. Can everyone stop yawning, please?’
‘Fatigue can kill,’ Big Mand says, forcefully slamming her fist into her palm. ‘I should know.’
‘Should you?’What sort of baby unit does she work in?
She comes up to whisper loudly in my ear, ‘You’ve reminded me of the time I once handed a baby to a first-time mother. She took one look and screamed the place down.’
Ah, that’s not nice, is it?Most babies are ugly when they first come out.
Big Mand chuckles to herself. ‘When she turned it to face me, I’d given her some blue roll full of afterbirth. To be fair, I’d done a seventy-two-hour shift. So…’
Big Mand sure knows how to make a point. Poor woman must have been so traumatised. ‘And the baby?’
‘Laundry drawer. Absolutely fine.’
Christ.
‘Right. Okay. How about we get some caffeine? Strong coffees to keep us awake and alert?’
‘Is nobody going to mention that I look bloody fabulous on that screen?’ says Tash, gazing at herself. ‘Or that my Kev is missing? Shouldn’t we alert security or something? It’s been hours.’
‘It’s not even been two minutes. Calm the fuck down, babes.’ Liberty sweeps her bored gaze around our group. ‘I’m off to The Poker Room. I spotted some Stetson hats earlier. Cherry, hun, come with me. Cherry?’ Liberty frowns. ‘Cherry?’
There’s no sign of Cherry.
‘Shit. Let’s fan out,’ says Big Sue. She still has her hand on her imaginary earpiece. ‘Connie, you take the canal shopping area we just walked through. Mandeep, cover the casino slot machines while I do the crap tables. Tash? Tash? Where’s Tash gone?’
Tash has disappeared at the first sign of having to help out.
‘Roger that, Sue,’ says Big Mand, scanning the crowded machine area, eyes screwed up. ‘You do all the crap tables. I’ll do the good ones.’
Liberty lets out an exasperated moan. ‘For God’s sake, it’s craps tables. I’ll do a sweep of the casino floor with you.’
‘Whatever you do, stay awake!’ booms Big Mand, yelling as though she’s a mile away and a jumbo jet is flying overhead. She charges off and instantly trips over a roll of pink carpet on the floor. She falls heavily to the ground. It takes all of three seconds for us to realise the roll of carpet is Tash.
Big Mand shakes herself off as Big Sue hauls them both up.
Tash blinks rapidly. ‘What happened?’
Liberty gets Tash up to speed. ‘Cherry is AWOL.’
‘Cherry is AWOL?’ Tash repeats.
‘Yes.’
‘AWOL?’ Tash says again. ‘As in AWOL?’
Liberty sighs. ‘Yes, Tash. As in AWOL.’
Tash springs into action. ‘FUUUUUCK! FUCKETY FUUUUUUCK!’ she screams, running off. We see her blonde wig disappear into the crowd. It doesn’t look as though she’ll be coming back.
‘Where is she going?’ asks Liberty.
‘Anyone feel her reaction is a bit extreme?’ I ask, convinced we’re all severely jet-lagged.
‘No shit, Sherlock,’ says Liberty, laughing. ‘Now, I’m going to have to find TashandCherry.’
‘Uh-huh. Roger that,’ says Big Sue briskly. She’s gone full commando mode yet again, but at least I know the job will get done. She’s very good like that. No nonsense. Never flaps in a crisis. ‘Rendezvous at zero one hundred and twenty hours and forty pence,’ says Big Sue, staring hard at her bare wrist.
