Our chauffeur busies himself organising all of our luggage to go on trolleys with hotel staff. Arrival protocol, on first impression, is a well-oiled machine. The porters have our trolleys loaded within minutes and are beckoning us to follow them inside, through the world’s biggest doors. I spot Matteo handing the chauffeur a hefty tip and shaking his hand before the man drives the limo away. None of us thought to do that.
The freezing cold air is the first thing to hit us as we cross the main lobby to the reception desk. It has an instant sobering effect.
‘Ow. My nostrils are burning. What is that?’ Tash squirms, holding her nose. ‘Kev.Kev!What is it?’
Sister Kevin flounders, unable to answer her.
‘It’s the air conditioning,’ says Birdie in a bored tone as though she’s been here a billion times. ‘Designed to keep everyone awake and gambling. Rumour has it they put ozone in it. And each hotel pumps their signature scent into the air.’
‘Cool,’ says Tash, changing her tune. ‘I wonder if that is as good for the skin as it sounds?’
‘It’s good for profits,’ Birdie says, marching away from us. She flicks her coral-coloured hair extensions, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure Matteo is watching her. When she sees he only has eyes for me, she scowls before pasting on a fake smile. ‘Bueno. Ciao, belli. À plus tard!’
We watch her sashaying through the busy crowd towards the queues at reception, her bright hair disappearing to the front of the line.
‘Three languages in one sentence. Works with artists all over the globe. She’s one crazy super-talented bitch,’ says Liberty with a sparkle in her eye. ‘But don’t worry. Nothing will beat your Gregorian chant, Connie, babes. And you have slightly longer legs.’
‘Oh. My. God. No one is going to forget that creepy snoozefest in a hurry,’ says Tash, laughing. ‘There are so many better ways to warm up your audience, pet.’
‘I sing in five languages, I’ll have you know,’ I say, defending myself. ‘Anyway, why are you comparing me to Birdie?’
They stare at Matteo as though he should know what lunatic conclusions they appear to be jumping to. He visibly swallows as the moment stretches awkwardly on. ‘Shall we?’ he says, indicating the reception desk.
‘Right,’ says Big Mand loudly. ‘Remember the plan, everyone. You could be hanging around waiting for the lifts for up to thirty minutes so do not spend more than ten minutes in your rooms. And don’t be tempted to have a nap or I will physically come and haul you out of bed. We need to stay awake. It’s essential we get the proper amount of rest later tonight, ahead of the first gig. I also suggest we use this as an opportunity to swap our Barbie outfits.’ Poor Big Mand. She has had to travel in a tiny dress that is splitting her in half. She pulls at the too-tight bodice. One of her bra cups has been on permanent display for the whole journey.
‘Roger that, Mandeep,’ says Big Sue. ‘I suggest we all put our room numbers in the group chat. In case.’
Ged clears his throat. ‘And the plan for the first night of the pre-moon?’
Christ Almighty.I’ve been so distracted by the whole Luke, Birdie, me and Matteo love quadrangle that I clean forgot we are here to enjoy ourselves. I flick through my phone’s notes app. ‘We are starting at the casino. Dressed in Barbie outfits. Then I have a private space booked for cocktail hour over in the, erm…’ I scroll through, conscious of Matteo standing right next to me. He runs his hand discreetly up and down my spine, sending tingles ricocheting across my body. ‘The exclusive Juliet Cocktail Room, for an evening of expertly crafted cock—’ My voice breaks. It sounds like I’m saying cock more than is necessary. ‘Erm, drinks, live music and an intoxicating blend of luxury, excitement and world-class service.’
‘I hope they’ll do us all a Skanky Lady cocktail,’ gushes Tash.
‘Can’t wait!’ squeals Liam. ‘As long as the music isn’t jazz. I find jazz very triggering.’
* * *
Minutes later we are at the front of the queue checking in. I have been surreptitiously glancing around for signs of Luke. It has somewhat taken the shine off the excitement. As has not being able to sleep on the plane. I stifle a yawn.
‘Tired?’ Matteo asks.
‘I’ll be fine. I’ll have a quick shower in the room to wake up.’
Like me, he remembers the last time we were in a room together and a shower was involved. I’m undressing him with my eyes, and I just can’t help it.
‘Make it quick, Big Guy,’ booms Big Mand at the pair of us. Matteo’s eyes balloon. Big Mand is being very… How would you put it? Prescriptive. What if Matteo wants to make sweet, slow love to me? Unrushed. His fingers are at their best when they trail softly across my hot skin. When they deliver exquisite pleasure to my?—
‘The shower! Make the showers quick. In and out. No hair washing. No funny business.’ Big Mand points directly at Tash. ‘None. At. All.’
We bristle at the threatening tone. It’s remarkable how alert and on top of her game she is. I can just imagine her thumping up and down the hospital corridors, barking orders and scaring mothers into giving birth on time.
* * *
Moments later, we all have the correct room key cards. We are all on the same floor, except for Ged and Liam, who have been upgraded.
‘Yay!’ says Liam, celebrating, waving his room key around. ‘We have our own private lift. And naked butler. Living the dream!’
‘And there’s a travel rejuvenation pack, some oxygen pouches and bowel-cleansing shots waiting for us.’ Ged is bursting with happiness.
