Bal shrank back from me, like I had physically slapped him, his face a mask of hurt. He opened his mouth, then closed it, shoved his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans, and rocked back on the heels of his boots.
“You didn’t ask me to stay,” I continued, “you didn’t want me to stay. You didn’t even kiss me good-bye when you brought me home. You haven’t answered any of my text messages since we broke up.” I used air quotes around those last two words. “I thought we were friends, but I was wrong. I thought…I thought a lot of things, but I was wrong.”
“Kendrick, I…love you,” he whispered, his voice and eyes pleading. “I love you and not having you in my life is killing me.”
Kendrick
Past…
Me:I had fun tonight. Hanging out, I mean. Not the listening to my brother scream in pain part.
Grumpy Elf:He’s a terror when he is giving birth! He gets so mean! I still have nightmares from when he had Kacey.
Me:I’ve never heard my brother use so many swear words in my life! That was nuts!
Grumpy Elf:Now you know why I got out of there! I couldn’t go through it again.
Me:Well, thanks for taking me with you. And coming to get me so I didn’t miss it. I can’t believe my little brother has two kids now.
Grumpy Elf:Are you getting baby fever?
Me:Goddess, no! I get enough of a kid fix from my class. And coming to visit Kacey. Now Kieran too. He’s so tiny!!
Grumpy Elf:We should go get a present for Kacey tomorrow. You know, so she doesn’t feel left out with all the attention Kieran is getting. I mean, if you want to.
Me:We should, yeah. Let’s do it. And get a present for Kieran too. I completely forgot to grab the gift I had when you showed up today.
Grumpy Elf:Keegan apparently thinks due dates are just suggestions. Doesn’t he realize I make my schedules around his due date? It’s very inconsiderate of him.
Me:I’m sure he absolutely went into labor a week early just to fuck with your schedule. No doubt about it. Going to bed now. See you tomorrow.
Chapter Twenty
Balfour
“Kendrick, I love you,” I whispered hoarsely, wanting to reach out and gather him into my arms and never let him go. “I love you and not having you in my life is killing me.”
Kendrick stared at me like I’d just told him I was planning a trip to Mars. Maybe Nik was right, and I did need to work on my communication skills. Looking back, I could see why my declaration probably seemed out of the blue. And maybe not sincere. Or that I was saying it just because of the baby.
Because I had no doubt that Kendrick was carryingmybaby. That bullshit story he had told his family wasn’t flying with me,anymore than it was flying with them. Keegan flat out hadn’t believed him. Diana and Merv were giving him the benefit of the doubt, without coming right out and calling their oldest son a liar, but I saw the looks they gave me whenever our paths crossed. Looks I hadn’t been able to decipher until Nik had told me about Kendrick being pregnant. Those looks made so much sense now.
“You what now?” Kendrick’s voice rose an entire octave, and I winced. “What the fuck, Bal? You do not love me! Ugh!” He waved a hand under his nose, wrinkling it adorably. “Stop smelling so good all the damn time! It’s distracting!”
He moved away from me, crossing the grass and heading towards a bench, and I realized we had been standing in front of a park. Following him, I frowned, trying to subtly sniff myself. Kendrick had said I smelled good, so maybe I shouldn’t worry.
He sat down with a little huff on the bench, sipping from his cup, and staring out at the park.
There was a small playground area a little way away, with children and adults already making use of it.
Not sure if I should sit next to him or not, I stood for a minute, waiting for him to say something. Maybe he was waiting on me to say something? Something besides declaring my love for him, since that hadn’t gone over well.
He rubbed at his eyebrow, finally looking at me. “Our communication sucks.”
Before I could stop it, a laugh barked out of me.
“May I?” I motioned towards the empty space next to me, and he nodded.
Sitting next to him, I wanted to take his hand, to touch him, but I didn’t. Just let my thigh rest next to his, feeling his heat through these stupid denim pants I was wearing.
