Two weeks later, he had texted that he had told everyone we had broken up. It was exactly what we had talked about, exactly what I had agreed to when he had hatched this plan of his.
So why had it hurt so much?
My gut had clenched, then felt like a brick landed in it. My heart had squeezed so tight, my chest had physically hurt. I’d felt sick, sad, and had cried for an hour in my bed after our conversation.
And I’d had to answer all my texts from my brother, Nik, and my parents, and act like it was no big deal. It just hadn’t worked out, but we were still friends.
Did anyone actually stay friends after a break up? Or was that just a lie you told yourself and your friends, so neither of you felt so bad or like the asshole in the scene?
How was I supposed to go back to being just friends with Bal? After the way his kisses had set me on fire? After the wayhe had taken me through my heat, starting a passion in me I had never experienced with another alpha? After the way he had cuddled me, taken care of me like I was something special, and even made sure I had some of my own Christmas traditions?
Rolling over in my bed, I stared at the snow globe sitting on my nightstand. I should put it away. Put it where I couldn’t see it. Where it couldn’t taunt me, and remind me of peppermint mocha kisses, and strong hands, and tenderness. Where it couldn’t remind me of things I wanted that could never be.
“Ugh!” I sprang up from the bed as a wave of nausea came on me so fast my head nearly spun with it. I barely made it to the toilet, before I was throwing up what little was in my belly.
This was getting old fast.
Once done, and sure I wasn’t going to hurl again, I flushed the toilet, then rinsed my mouth.
Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I grimaced. Sticking my tongue out at my too pale face, dark circles rimming my eyes, I muttered, “Happy fucking Valentine’s Day to me.”
Turning to go back to bed, where I could wallow for another hour before I needed to get up and face a room full of children, ready to celebrate a holiday of hearts and candy, the plastic test stick glared at me from the garbage can.
How was I going to tell Bal I was pregnant?
Well, I wasn’t. That much I had decided. At least, not yet.
Sure, he would find out, but I wasn’t about to trap him into something he didn’t want. With someone he didn’t want.
I wasn’t going to do that to him, or me, or the tiny life we had created, despite the precautions we had taken.
My baby deserved better. They deserved parents that wanted them. If that meant they only had one, me, so be it.
Better Bal never knew this child was his.
And if this baby had any elfin traits, well…I would just cross that river when I came to it.
For the moment I was deep in denial and that was exactly where I wanted to stay, thank you very much.
My phone rang, the one from Santa's Village, and I sighed. Yesterday, when I had told my parents and Keegan about the baby, I had lied my ass off. Because apparently, lying was coming easier and easier for me.
After being met with stunned silence at my pregnancy announcement, my dad had cleared his throat, then made some squawking nonsense about Balfour stepping up and doing the right thing. Whatever the fuck that meant.
And my mouth had opened, and smooth as silk, the lies continued.
“It’s not his baby,” I had declared, sounding very sure of myself. “It’s my baby. I mean, the alpha dad isn’t going to be involved.”
Keegan, who had been with my parents when I had called and they had promptly put the call on speaker, said, “But Bal will want to know. He has a right to know, Kendrick.”
“It’s not his baby,” I repeated sharply. “Look, this is embarrassing, but Sadie and I went to a party on New Year’s Eve. I got a little drunk and hooked up with some random alpha. It was nothing.”
“Well, it’s something now,” Dad barked.
“Weren’t you and Balfour still seeing each other then?” Mom asked quietly. “I’m sure he told us you broke up the next week.”
Fuckity fuck, did my parents have a timeline of Bal and my relationship on the wall somewhere? Now I sounded like a cheater, and my mom sounded disappointed with me.
“Well, officially, yeah, but we knew we weren’t working out right after he brought me home. Too different, too far away. All that.”
