"Then why didn’t you? Did you hate me that much?"
"I never hated you." I press my palm against my forehead, trying to organize the thoughts spinning through my mind. "I was afraid."
"Of me?" The hurt in his voice is unbearable.
"Of everything." I meet his gaze directly, although it’s difficult to do. "My father was arrested, then murdered in prison. Dom's father made it clear your family was responsible. What was Isupposed to do when I found out I was pregnant? Run to the Montis, the very family Uncle Aldo wanted vengeance on?"
“Yes! I would have protected you."
"Like you protected my father?" The words slip out before I can stop them, and I immediately regret them. "I'm sorry. That's not fair."
"No, it's not." His jaw tightens. "I loved your father. I loved you. I would have moved heaven and earth for our children."
Our children. My heart is shattering.
“You were in Italy.”
“For fuck’s sake, Elena. I would have come home. Or my father would have helped you come to me.”
I shake my head. “You talk like I could waltz into the Monti home. Do you think your family wouldn’t be suspicious of me? It’s not like they knew about us. And what do you think Uncle Aldo would have done if he knew I was carrying Monti heirs?"
Understanding flickers across Luca's face, but the anger doesn't fade.
"I did what I thought was right to keep us all safe, most of all the kids. Maybe I was wrong, but I was alone and terrified. I still am."
"Mommy? Are you fighting?" Rocco's voice cuts through the tension as he bursts into the living room, his siblings trailing behind him.
Three pairs of eyes stare up at us with innocent concern.
My heart seizes in my chest as I watch Luca take them in with new awareness.
The awe, the love in his eyes is all that I would have wanted, even as it brings on more shame.
"We're just having a grown-up talk." I force a smile that feels like it might crack my face.
Luca softens, his anger receding as he kneels down to the children’s level. "Your mom and I have some important things to discuss. There’s nothing for you to worry about."
Adalina tilts her head. "You look mad."
"I was a little upset," Luca admits, and I'm struck by his honesty with them. "But I'm okay now."
"When I get mad, Mommy says to count to ten," Elio offers helpfully.
A ghost of a smile crosses Luca's face. "That's good advice."
"Why don't you three go play in your room for a bit?" I suggest. "We need to finish our conversation."
"Can you come play with us after?" Rocco asks Luca hopefully.
Luca glances up at me, and I see a quiet assertion of rights I've denied him for years. “Yes, I’ll come play.”
As the children scamper off and I turn my attention back to him, I realize that the man standing in front of me isn’t just Luca, the man I loved, the father of my children, but now he’s Don Monti, with all the power and influence that entails.
He could take my children.
"They're beautiful," he says, watching them leave.
He turns his attention back to me. "They're mine. And you kept them from me."
