“Are you kidding?” Luca says. “Milk is for cookies too. Do you know the best way to eat cookies and milk?”
Three heads shake in unison, their eyes watching Luca like he’s a superhero.
I hand Luca a glass of milk.
He winks at me as he takes it. "Like this.” He demonstrates, dunking a cookie into his milk and biting into it. "You need to dunk long enough to let the milk soak in but not so long that your cookie breaks off."
The kids giggle.
“I want to try,” Rocco says, grabbing a cookie and pulling his milk glass toward him.
“Napkin.” I hand everyone a paper towel. I can already see I’m going to have crumb-filled drips of milk on my table.
Rocco dips his cookie and then pulls it out. “Like this?”
“Now take a bite,” Luca urges him.
He bites and his eyes light up.
“My turn,” Elio says, dunking his cookie up and down, up and down. He pulls it out and a chunk drops into his milk. “Mine broke.”
“That’s okay,” Luca assures him. “Try again, just don’t leave it in the milk for so long.”
Elio’s second try goes better.
Adalina, quiet but watchful, takes her turn.
Luca leans closer to her. “What do you think?”
She gives him a shy smile. “Good.”
“You’re the guy from Italy who only comes home at Christmas,” Rocco announces.
“He’s not ‘the guy’,” I correct Rocco. “He’s Mr. Monti?—”
“Luca. Please. And I used to live in Italy, but now I’m home.”
"I'm Rocco, and that's Elio, and she's Adalina."
“It’s nice to formally meet you. The first time I ever saw you, you were this big.” He holds his hands out wide to about the size of a loaf of bread. I remember that first Christmas after the kids were born.
They were a little bigger than bread at about six months old. I remember feeling terrified he’d figure out the truth and guilty beyond measure at hoping he didn’t.
It’s about how I feel in this moment.
“We’re bigger now,” Elio says, trying to dig out his cookie from his milk.
“You are.”
“Do you know my uncle Dom?” Rocco asks.
“I do. I grew up with him. Just like I grew up with your mom.”
“He carries a gun. Do you?”
"Rocco!" I know my boys will likely follow Dom’s footsteps, especially if he never marries as he seems determined not to do, but the idea scares me.
Luca laughs, unfazed. “I have one, but if you really want to be safe and protect yourself, you need this.” He points to his head.
