"Children you didn't even know existed until recently!" Her eyes flash with a protective fury that makes me think of a lioness defending her cubs. "You don't get to waltz in and decide our futures. You don't get to take my children from me."
"Our children," I correct, my voice hardening.
She's trembling now, whether from anger or fear, I can't tell. "I will die before I let anyone—even you—take them from me."
I’m shocked and confused. I've severely miscalculated, thinking she’d see reason and want to stay, all of us safe in my home that offers more security than hers.
I drag a hand down my face, forcing myself to take a steadying breath.
My initial instinct is to dominate this argument like I would any business dispute.
But this isn't business.
This is family, my family.
"Elena, listen to me." I work to keep my voice measured. "I'm not trying to take them from you. I'm saying we all need to stay together. Under my protection.Allof us."
Her eyes narrow in suspicion.
"You just said if we didn’t leave, the children stay with you. Those were your exact words."
"I meant with me and you. Together." I step closer, risking her anger. "We're their parents. Both of us."
“So we live here like a family but not really a family?”
I’m so completely lost in what’s going on.
I remember her words from last night.I love you. Those words had ignited hope in me. But something is off here.
“Are you punishing me for keeping them from you all these years?"
“Punishing you? Asking you and the kids to live with me is punishment?” Maybe I dreamed that she said she loved me.
“What if I took you up on your offer and then you decide you resent me too much? Or wheat if you meet someone else? It would be awkward to bring a woman home with your ex living in your house, don’t you think?”
The thought of another woman in my life almost makes me laugh, but I hold it back, knowing she's serious.
But it’s clear to me now where I went wrong. At least I hope I’m understanding correctly.
"Elena, look at me." I wait until her eyes meet mine. "I haven’t met a woman in seven years. What makes you think I would any time in the future?”
“I doubt you’ve been a monk.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. “No. But I haven’t loved a woman. How can I? There's never been anyone but you. Even when you wereblaming me, even when I tried to forget you, it's always been you. It will always be you, Elena. I’ve known that for seven years."
Her eyes glisten with tears.
"I'm not trying to take control or punish you. I'm trying to protect what's mine, and that includes you."
I take her hand, relieved when she doesn't pull away.
"I understand why you did what you did. Aldo was a monster. If he'd known about us, about the children…" I push the images out of my mind. "You did what you thought was right to protect them. I can respect that, even if it hurts like hell to have lost those years."
A tear slips down her cheek, and I brush it away with my thumb.
"You know what hurts the most?" I wonder if I should shut up. It’s quite possible I’ll say something wrong again, but I keep going. "Not just the years I lost with them, but the years I lost with you. Birthdays. Anniversaries we never had. So many moments I can never get back."
Elena's eyes hold mine, and I finally see something that gives me hope again.
