He looks at me with those haunted eyes. Something fierce and protective ignites within me, not just for my missing son, but for this broken man before me.
"Our son is missing because someone evil took him," I continue. "Not because you wanted to know him. Not because you wanted the truth about my father."
"You said yourself that it was dangerous," he counters, his voice hollow. "You warned me. It’s why you kept them from me. Turns out you were right."
I wonder if there will ever come a day in which the guilt from my choices doesn’t threaten to drown me. “I was wrong. I've been afraid for so long, it became my normal. But I was wrong to let fear dictate everything."
Luca turns away, bracing his hands against his desk again.
The weight of the world seems to press down on his shoulders.
I've never seen him like this.
I’ve never seen anyone like this.
A man brought to his knees, not by bullets or rivals, but by the absence of a child he's barely had time to know.
"If anything happens to him…"
I want to reassure him, but I know I can’t.
I reach for Luca's hand. He flinches but doesn't pull away.
"I can't lose him." Luca's voice is raw with the same fear and pain I feel. "I just found him."
Without thinking, I step closer, wrapping my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against his chest.
For a moment, he remains rigid, but then, slowly, his arms encircle me, tentative at first, then tightening as though I'm the only thing keeping him upright.
“All I wanted was to spend my life as a family with you. At every turn, something fucks it up. And now Rocco is paying?—"
"We won't lose him. Rocco is strong. Like his father."
We stand like this, two broken people holding each other together, hoping by sheer will that our son will be found safe and sound.
"I should have protected you both better," he says into my hair.
"And I should have trusted you more," I reply, my voice muffled against his shirt. "But we can't change the past. We can only fight for our future."
Luca straightens, his face filled with exhaustion and determination. "I need to get back out there.” He goes to a largesafe. Using the combination, he opens it and pulls out weapons and ammunition. It’s a reminder of how dangerous our world is.
He closes the safe and turns to me. “Call me immediately if you hear anything. I've posted men around the house. No one gets in or out without my knowledge."
I nod, a sense of dread filling me. If this is about vengeance against him, it’s possible he’ll be killed tonight.
"Try to rest," he says, already moving toward the door. "The kids will need you in the morning."
As he reaches for the doorknob, I find myself needing to give him something. "I never saw you as the danger, Luca. Never. I was afraid of everyone else."
He pauses but keeps his back to me.
“Luca?”
He looks over his shoulder at me.
“I love you. I always have.” Why haven’t I told him this sooner?
The torment in his eyes suggests I said the wrong thing. He’s not angry, but my words are too little, too late.
