“I’m not blaming. You asked me who would want to do this.”
She shakes her head at me. “Had he known sooner, this might not have happened.”
“Gab, we don’t know that,” Isabella says, her tone chastising.
"I couldn't risk them becoming pawns.”
Gabriella's eyes flash. "Yet here we are anyway." Her words land like stones. "If Luca had known from the beginning, proper protection would have been in place."
"That's not fair," Isabella interjects. "Elena made choices based on what she knew then. The blame belongs to whoever took Rocco."
Gabriella runs a hand through her hair as she blows out a frustrated breath. "Of course the kidnapper is to blame.”
It doesn’t feel like now is the time or place for discussing my choices seven years ago, but I welcome this argument.
It's easier to defend my past than to sit in helpless silence, imagining what Rocco might be enduring.
“But why, Elena? Why keep it from him even after Aldo was dead? After Luca came back?"
Isabella places a warning hand on Gabriella's arm. "This isn't helping."
But I need this distraction, this fight. It keeps the panic at bay. “Because Luca wanted to clear his name and in doing so, he’d be putting a target on his back. Anyone wanting revenge could use the children to hurt him.”
“Do you think that’s what’s happening now?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
“If it were, it seems like a message would have been sent by now,” Isabella says.
Gabriella scoffs. “For all we know, one has. The men like to keep us in the dark.”
"We're going to find him," Isabella tries to reassure me.
There’s a long silence as if we’re all expecting Luca and Rocco to walk through the front door at any moment.
“Did you love him?” Gabriella asks, breaking the silence.
“Yes.” I chance a glance at her. "I never stopped. Even when I hated him for what I thought he'd done to my father, I loved him."
Isabella's eyes soften with understanding, while Gabriella remains silent, watching me carefully.
"When I found out I was pregnant, I cried for days. Not because I didn't want the babies, but because I wanted them with him, in a different world, in a different life." I wipe away a tear with the back of my hand. "The worst part? When he came back last year, I still couldn't tell him. The lie had grown too big, too tangled with everything else."
"And now?" Gabriella asks quietly.
“Now I just want my son back," I say. "And I'll do anything, face any consequence, to make that happen."
“Consequence?” Isabella asks.
“If Luca feels he needs to take them from me, take them to Italy, I won’t fight it.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Gabriella jumps up, clearly unhappy with my statement. “Luca is not a monster, Elena. He’s hurt, destroyed by what you did, but he’d never in a million years hurt those kids by taking them away from you.”
“Gabriella,” Isabella once again interjects.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t stand by and have her act like Luca is the monster here.”
I shake my head. “No. I’m the monster. I know that.”
