“Everything.” But that will bring more questions, and talking is the last thing I want, so I add, “Your hands. Your mouth. Your body. Every fucking thing.”
He answers with another kiss. And yeah, kissing is good. Kissing Garrett is very good. He sucks on my tongue, and I rut against him like a horny teenager.
When we part to catch our breath, he cradles my face. “There’s no rush, Aidyn. We have all night.” The relief I feel at his words—because we do have all night—is tempered by the words left unsaid.
Tomorrow, Garrett will return to his life in New York. Once again turning his back on Mule Creek. Turning his back on me.
12
GARRETT
I kissAidyn again because it’s the only thing that eases this clawing ache in my chest. Fuck off, brain. I have tonight. I can’t worry about tomorrow. About how fucking impossible it will be to leave him.
And if…if I thought for a second Aidyn Christy wanted to make this work between us, that he wanted me enough to tell everyone, including Lanie, about us, then I’d throw everything else away. My job in New York. My friends. My life.
And that scares me.
Aidyn is the one man I shouldn’t want.
But he isn’t ready for that. I’ve been dealing with these feelings for years. This is new for him. Buttomorrowsits like a wedge between us. I want, for one night, to not have anything between us. Everything laid bare.
I pull out of the kiss and take a step back. And then another.
Panic flashes in his eyes before he gets himself under control. “Where you going, darlin’?”
Way to mess this up even more, Garrett. I rest my arms on top of my head. I’m unbelievably hot. His eyes darken, and I’mnot sure what he sees. My shirt damp from sweat? Oh lord. I need that. Aidyn licking me there. Biting…
I put my hand out as if I’m physically holding him back. Amusement replaces the panic in his eyes. “I need a moment, Aidyn.” He nods, and I take a deep breath. “I fucking love you. Okay?”
“So you’ve said.”
Definitely amusement now. “The point is… I’ve been in love with you for a long time. And I’ve dealt with it.” I shake my head. Jesus.
“That’s your point? Because you’ve said all this already. And?—”
“Just…wait.” I use my hand like a stop sign. “I don’t expect you to fall in love with me. I never expected that.”
He shakes his head, and it could mean anything from get the fuck out of my diner—although he’d say those words with no problem—to I don’t understand. “Falling in love with you…isn’t exactly the problem. It would be so easy to do, Garrett. So easy to fall for you.”
Words I’d dreamed of hearing now have me wanting to cry. “Then what’s the problem?”
“I can only give you so much. And it’s not about love. It’s not about you at all.”
“Thanks.”
“Obviously, I’m fucking this up. I mean. I’m a mess. And I don’t know how I feel or what I want. And I’m not going to figure it out by tomorrow. Or next month.”
“Yup. Makes sense.” I focus on tucking my shirt back in and not on his face.
“Hold on.” He grabs my arm. And then my hand. “I don’t want you to go. I’m just saying that I want you. I want this night together.”
“That’s what I want too. But I hate this thing between us. Can we acknowledge it’s there and move on?”
His eyes plead with me. “All I’ve been doing is hurting you, and I fucking hate it.”
I cup his cheek, and he leans into my touch. “It hurts being with you, Aidyn. But it also fucking hurts being without you. If it’s going to hurt either way, I want these memories. God, Aidyn. I never even thought I’d get to kiss you. And it’s—” I have to stop for a moment because there’s confessing. And there’s confessing. “I got to touch your giant cock. Hold it. Suck on it. I don’t regret a moment with you, and I hope you don’t either.”
“I…don’t.”
