When did Jane get here? Probably while I was glaring at Zye. She snaps her gum—which she knows I hate—and grins as she grabs my arm with both hands and pulls herself up to kiss my cheek. At five feet one, she’s a wee lass. I’m about a foot taller.
My shoulders relax as my mood softens. I love this girl as if she were my own sister. She and Emily were close, although not in age. Jane’s the baby of the family. Born nine years after Emily.
We moved from Ireland to Mule Creek when Lanie was a babe, so Emily could be close to her family. Jane has been in our lives ever since.
“He’s a kid,” I tell her. “Was there really no one else you could get?”
She blushes, and I’m not entirely sure why. “It works for everyone. Zye gets experience and we…don’t spend too much on the wedding.”
There it is. I’m not as close to Isaac, her fiancé. But he’s studying to be an accountant at the University of Central Missouri in Warrensburg and is obsessed with planning their lives. My eyes stray to Jane’s belly. Some things didn’t get planned as well. And maybe that’s why Isaac is being stingy about the wedding. They’ll have a child to worry about in the next couple of months.
Jesus. They’re really just kids themselves, both of them barely twenty.
Zye and Jane get a booth and discuss the final plans for the wedding. The lunch rush is winding down, so I go about my business serving food and bussing tables until Jane waves me over.
“What?”
She grins at me. “Is the cake ready?”
“Do you think I’d wait until the day before the wedding to make the cake?”
“Just checking, Christy. I want my wedding to be perfect.”
“It will be,” Zye says. “I promise.”
I scowl at him. “You can’t promise, lad. Things happen—” I stop as Jane’s smile drops. She blinks a few times. “Jane, I’m?—”
My words are lost as she makes an excuse, jumps up, and runs from the room. Losing Emily still hurts even after two years. I sometimes forget I’m not the only one in pain. I jab a finger at Zye. “Don’t say it.”
But I recognize that mulish look on his face. “You’re grumpier than normal, Aidyn. And you made my bride cry.”
“Am not. And don’t call me that.” No one calls me by my first name. Only Emily and— Jesus, Joseph, and Mary. Is that why I’m on edge? Garrett fucking Bishop will be home for the wedding. Probably already is. But I can’t let that horse’s arse distract me.
Zye gets a soft look in his eyes that I don’t like one bit. “You’re right. Nothing is set. That’s why you have to grab onto things that make you happy.”
“You’re seventeen. What do you know?” I move to the next table, clearing the dishes and trash, and hoping he’ll go away. No luck.
“Even a grump like you deserves a happily ever—” His hands go to his mouth. “Sorry, Christy.”
I take pity on him and don’t throw him out. “Emily was the love of my life,” I say in a way I hope ends this conversation. We’d planned on forever and got less than ten years together. “So that’s that.”
He picks at the sparkly letters on his shirt. “I don’t think you only get one chance at love.” He shrugs. “But what do I know?”
“I’ve got my Lanie. She’s my focus.” I wave at the door. “Now leave me be and go check on your bride.”
I expect the tightness in my chest to lessen once Zye is gone. He’s either breaking something or talking about weddings—the boy is obsessed. But I still can’t catch my breath. Jane’s wedding has me on edge. I miss Emily something fierce.
Lanie doesn’t want to leave while we’re so busy, but I convince her Jane needs her help with the wedding stuff. Lanie’s had the biggest smile on her face all week…and the saddest look when she thinks I don’t notice.
Stop being a stubborn ass, Aidyn.
I hear the words in Emily’s voice. She said them often enough. But always with love.
During the afternoon lull, I ask Ramon to handle things while I take a break from all the people and the wedding talk. He frowns at me, but I wave him off. I just need a minute. The window seat in the corner doesn’t make much sense in a kitchen, but Lanie used to sit there and watch me cook while her mom was out serving customers. The garden outside the window is in full bloom with Emily’s favorite flowers and spices. Lanie especially loves the orange daylilies. I press my palms into my eyes, trying to stop the flood of memories and tears.Get it together, Aidyn.
I’ve had to hold it together for Lanie’s sake, but Jane getting married… I rub at the pain in my chest. Emily would have taken over in a way that still had everyone loving her. Teasing Isaac. Getting him to not take everything so seriously. Making Jane laugh. I can see it so clearly. Like, at any moment, she’s going to walk through the door.
Why is this still so hard?
