“Not like that. Although you were both in that restroom for quite a while. You’ve been smiling at each other. Laughing. I just knew.”
“Oh.”
“And now you’re messing it up.”
I swallow. “Did he—” The words are there, but saying them is like jumping off the cliffs of Dublin.
She pats my hand. “He didn’t need to, Christy. You’re even more miserable than normal.”
I rub the back of my neck. “Any suggestions?”
“Yes.” She pulls herself out of her chair and leans over to kiss my cheek. “Stop fucking it up.”
My heart pounds furiously and my stomach wants to revolt. Jane knows. What if she tells someone?
Stop being stubborn and ignoring what’s in front of you. Emily used to tell me that.
Jane knows. And she doesn’t hate me. The world hasn’t ended. The tightness in my chest eases bit by bit as I allow myself to believe it. Feel the truth. It’s followed by a need to do something. I still can’t tell everyone. Or anyone. Especially Lanie.
But I can’t lose Garrett. And maybe that’s selfish. He wants more. He deserves more.
We can’t have forever. But maybe we can have right now.
10
GARRETT
The questionI’ve asked myself for the last thirty minutes is, can I escape to my hotel room with no one noticing? The happy couple is…happy. The usual people are drunk. And a few not-so-usual people. Someone should really take Mrs. Weppler home, or at least help her off the table.
But why go sit in a hotel room wallowing in pity and loneliness? I could do that any time. Have done that. I love my job, but right now, if I took my future and stretched it out so I could see from one end to the other, it would be filled with nothing else. I had the BC: Before Christy. And now the AC: After Christy.
Maybe I shouldn’t have had that last beer. The wall thrums with the music as people cheer along with a party song that requires participation. As everyone goes lower and higher, I try to feel less pathetic. Leaning against the wall by myself seems less pathetic than sitting at a table by myself. One invites conversation. The other does not. Or so I thought.
Is it too late to run outside or escape to the restroom? Memories of that particular stall have me wishing I’d gone back to the hotel when I had the chance.
Isaac leans against the wall beside me. “Don’t do it, man.”
“Do what?” I gulp the rest of my beer. I don’t particularly want it, but it gives me something to do with my hands.
He shrugs. “Run away. I think wedding etiquette requires you to talk to the groom.”
“Did you get that from Zye?”
Isaac downs his beer, takes my empty bottle from me, and throws them both in the recycling bin a few feet away. The crowd shouts again. And again. Isaac grins at me.
“We’re brothers now!” His entire face lights up, erasing the usual worry lines in his forehead. Is that happiness? Or the alcohol? “I’ve never had a brother before.”
He giggles. I’ve never heard Isaac giggle. But why shouldn’t he be happy? He has a wife who loves him. A child on the way. His whole life is ahead of him.
“Me either. Just sisters. But I’m happy to call you my brother, Isaac.”
“We’re brothers.” He giggles some more and leans his head back against the wall, watching me with a goofy smile. A thought or something hits him because he stands and then wobbles a little. I reach out to steady him. He grabs my arm, nodding his head. “And brothers share things.”
I laugh. “Things?”
“Yeah. Why are you by yourself? You could be spending time with Christy.”
“What? Why would I— Aidyn and I—” I force myself to stop talking.
