I catch my breath, the words spilling out before I can stop them. “It wasn’t just about that, Nico,” I say, voice rough. “You know it.”
Carrie looks at us, eyebrows drawn together. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”
Levi steps up, not hiding anything. “Isn’t it obvious? It’s you, Carrie.”
She stares at us, confusion and something close to fear in her eyes. “Me?”
Nico lets out a shaky breath. “We’ve all crossed lines for you.”
I nod, my throat tight. “We crossed every line we ever set for ourselves. With you. Because we want you, all of us. Because we have feelings for you, Carrie. Now I don’t know the depth of it, heck, these two knuckleheads probably don’t either…” I trail off while Levi and Nico remain silent. But I can tell from the look on their faces that I’m not far off the mark.
I sigh. “But it’s more than just sex for me, for all of us. I don’t know how to be any more honest than that.”
She takes a step back, looking from me to Levi to Nico. For a second, none of us speak. The cold bites through my clothes, but I barely feel it. This is the truth, ugly and beautiful and too big to hide anymore.
“We put everything on the line for you,” Levi says quietly. “We’re not sorry for that.”
Nico runs a hand through his hair, his voice softer than I’ve heard it in months. “But now we have to live with it. All of it. You, us, what we did to get here.”
She just stands there, staring at us, arms wrapped around herself. I can see her thinking, see the storm behind her eyes, but she doesn’t say a word. The silence stretches, cold and uncomfortable.
I can’t take it. I step closer, my own heart pounding. “Carrie, say something. Please.”
She looks at me, then at the others, her lips parted but nothing coming out. The morning air feels even colder now, the fog swirling around our feet. For a second, I wonder if I’ve ruined everything—if we all have.
“Do you want this?” I say, voice rough, not caring that Levi and Nico are right there. “Any of it? Us?”
She swallows, blinking fast, and finally meets my eyes. I can’t read her expression, but I can feel how much hangs in the balance.
Then she takes a shaky breath. “Before any of you decide what you want with me, there’s something you need to know.”
Her words cut right through the cold. I hold my breath. Levi and Nico go still.
She lifts her chin, eyes shining with something close to fear. “I’m pregnant. And before you ask…it’s not yours. It’s Jinn’s.”
The words land like a punch. For a second, I can’t breathe. The world tilts sideways. My heart sinks, heavy and hollow, down into my stomach.
I stare at her, trying to process what she’s just said. Pregnant. With Jinn’s kid. Not mine. Not Levi’s. Not Nico’s.
For a moment, nobody says a word. The birds in the trees go quiet, even the wind feels like it’s died. I just stare at Carrie, every part of me trying to fit her words into my chest, but they don’t fit. They scrape and burn.
Levi’s the first to move. He looks at her, then at me, then away. Nico just stands there, jaw clenched, hands shoved deep in his pockets.
I want to say it doesn’t matter. That we’re still here, that we’ll figure it out. But my mouth is dry, my head spinning. I can’t force out the words, not yet. And yet, I never seem to get rid of Jinn’s presence in my life. He’s a shadow I can’t outrun, eclipsing everything in my life, even Carrie.
Carrie looks so small standing in the yard, like she might run, like she expects us to turn our backs on her right now.
My voice comes out low, rough. “When did you find out?”
She meets my eyes, holding my gaze even though she’s shaking. “A little before the escape. I was late, and then…I took the test. Got it confirmed at a clinic. I wanted to tell you, but—” Her voice breaks, and she shakes her head.
Levi finally speaks. His voice is steady, but soft. “Why didn’t you tell us before?”
Tears glitter in her eyes. “I was scared. I didn’t want to lose you all. I didn’t want you to think I was just using you. I—” She bites her lip, looking away.
I step forward, unsure what I’m supposed to do, what I even feel. “We’re not going anywhere,” I say, and even as I say it, I know it’s the truth. My heart is wrecked, but she’s still ours. She’s still Carrie. “I promise.”
26
