When they finally spill inside me, it’s slow and drawn-out, hips pressed close, mouths meeting mine, hands cradling my face and hair. I feel owned, loved, utterly undone, every inch of me claimed by their touch. I fall asleep tangled between them, boneless, safe, knowing there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
25
JC
Ilie on my side, one arm under my head, the other tangled in Carrie’s hair. Her breathing is slow, almost even now, lashes fluttering against her cheek. She looks peaceful, the firelight playing over her bare shoulder, her skin marked by the night we just gave her. Blade is sprawled on the other side, already half-asleep, and Wrecker is sitting up, staring into the dying embers, lost in his own thoughts.
I keep my eyes on Carrie. My fingers drift through her hair, soft and heavy, and I find myself tracing the curve of her jaw, the line of her neck. There’s something about her tonight.
Maybe it’s the way she let go with us, the way she held onto my arm, moaning my name, or the sound she made when she came the last time, shaking in my arms.
Her eyelids flutter and she catches me watching. A lazy smile tugs at her lips. “What?” she whispers.
“Nothing,” I murmur, not trusting myself to say any of the shit tangled in my head. She shifts closer, sighs, settles into me like she belongs here.
Nico’s hand is slung across her waist, fingers spread wide, possessive even in sleep.
Something’s changed. I feel it in the way she looks at me, the way I can’t let her go. She’s not just a girl I want to fuck, not even just the girl I’ve known these past few years. There’s a piece of her I’ve never touched before, something secret, and for the first time in a long damn while, I want more. Levi glances back, his gaze lingering on us for a moment, then he looks away, rubbing a hand over his face.
I want all of her, every broken, brave, stubborn part. I just don’t know how to ask for it.
I stroke her hair until she falls asleep, listening to her breath, feeling the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on my chest.
I try to sleep, but my mind won’t let go. Carrie’s warmth is still pressed against my side, Nico’s heavy arm tossed across both of us, Levi somewhere behind me. I stare at the ceiling, then close my eyes and try to breathe her in. It doesn’t help. The weight in my chest just gets heavier.
By the time the sky starts to lighten, I give up. I slide out from under the pile of bodies, careful not to wake anyone. I pull on my jeans and step outside. The air bites, cold enough to make me shiver. I drag in a deep breath, the chill clearing out the last of the fog in my head.
All I can think about is Jinn. His smug face. His lies. What he did to us, what he did to her. It burns under my skin. If I end up back in prison, fine. I just want to know he won’t be walking around to hurt us again. I want to see him beg.
My fists clench at my sides. I picture Jinn’s face, how easy it would be to crush it under my boot. For a second, the urge is so strong it’s almost a taste in my mouth. Maybe revenge is the only thing that will let me breathe easy again.
Behind me, the door creaks. Levi steps out, barefoot and silent as always. He stands there, watching the sky go gray. He doesn’t look at me.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” he asks, his voice low.
I shake my head. “Not even close.”
He crosses his arms, rubbing them for warmth. “You thinking about Jinn?”
“That obvious?”
Levi glances at me, eyes dark. “You want to kill him.”
I let out a short laugh, cold and flat. “Yeah. I do.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
I ignore him, and look at the stretch of trees. I can almost see the road from here. We haven’t heard any police vehicles around, and we must have left the truck at least a few miles away.
Levi stands beside me, arms crossed, steam curling from his breath in the cold air. The quiet stretches, uncomfortable, and I know he’s turning something over in his head.
He glances sideways at me. “You were looking at her different last night.”
I tense, jaw working. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugs, but I see the flicker in his eyes. “You know I like her, Jace.”
I bark a laugh, bitter. “Yeah? All three of us were fucking her, in case you missed it.”
